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I lay there, tossing and turning, not because of the hormones that do keep me wide wide awake like this. But because of someone's reaction, response, certainly more than just a passing remark, that really got to me.
At the end of four months, the exhaustion still hits me bad enough, I wish I were younger. But the queasiness is petering out, and I can't tell you how wonderful that is! Being less averse to what I cook, maybe I can stomach more now -- what with the cravings coming up next, if and when they set in!
But why is this is so hard to swallow? Why do people even say things like that? Am I too much of a people-pleaser, to be bothered by it? Again?
Maybe I didn't know what I was doing, but I really still want to give this my best, and let God do the rest. To these skeptics, I so want to tell them -- do not disparage. But now, if I think like this, I'm no different from them. Not that they care. Others wonder why I haven't been more forthcoming. Need I say more?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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8 comments:
What happen dear, peepul being mean izzit? Kam i sayangzzzzzz i won't say dun get upset becoz i tink letting out what u feel is important and i dowan those to be inside u.
Thanks Kopi Soh. Not the first time, I don't get it why people have to say such things. Sigh! Better I lay low...
bp, annoying people there are aplenty. Don't take what they say personally. They are too used to be annoying. Habit lah..
You are into your fifth month already! You're gonna have a great time from now on. :)
You sleep well ok. *hugs*
Jomel,
It strikes me as more insensitive than annoying, and I hate my own guts for not being sarcastic back! Thanks, after this week, I will be just starting the next month. One at a time ;p
My mom always say this to me "不要管旁人所说， 否则就是为别人而活". It's a hard one to practice in daily life at times, but it has saved me my sanity and sleepless nights. You deserve a good sleep, and I find deep breathing helps or if not, have a cup of chamomile tea.
Yes, remarks can hurt. Probably trying to tell them how you feel?
I went through endless infertility treatments before I had Rachel, and even after Rachel, it took me another five years to have Chris.
And there were also some insensible remarks, but the blessings are abundant!
I have always wanted to have more than two. So, at one time when a doctor friend was seeing my sister (she has four children), he jokingly remarked, "You have only half of your sister's."
I was at the verge of tears. But actually the doc was only joking. He would never have thought that I long to have more than two!
Enjoy the kicking. Hey, I just bought a book on confinement food of all dialects. Share with you some "Foochow" (I am foochow lah) food?
bp, I empathise with what you are saying. Been through that many times. Somehow, like you, I don't voice out to them about their rude remarks.
Also, lately, there's been a conspiracy at work against me. When I found out, I couldn't sleep that night but came downstairs, talked to God and then actioned somethings.
Again, perhaps our kindness and ready to help people let people have the best of us.
Take care. Look to God. He never lets us down.
Priscilla,
Thanks. I love chamomile tea... lots of people drink it to go to sleep, I used to have to drink it to wake up in the mornings when I was at work back home!
Your mom's very wise words I need to practise more, because I tend to be too much of a people-pleaser.
Yan,
I really appreciate your sharing, on such matters close to your heart. There was also an earlier post you referred me to, that brought tears to my eyes, about that time when the Lord gave and then took way. But He is always in control, and you're right, the abundant blessings themselves are cause for joy and giving thanks!
Judy,
Thanks for knowing, and I know life's always like this -- so long as there are two sides to a coin, there will always be others who will question why we picked one over the other.
Sorry about the situation at work, and I salute you for always being the understanding one, by not taking issue with the 'offenders'. And you know what? I believe God always sees your good works, and your faithfulness! Hang in there now, and press on! =)
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