Snow kidding

< Snow coming down on the trees - by Ben.

It's sundown, Ben and Jon paint a winter scene of what they see out of the window. Jon finally gets two Math worksheets done after a lot (and I mean a great deal!) of persuasion. There are two more pages of cursive writing to work out. But now, before it gets really late, he and Ben, and their daddy, bundle up and go outside for a little walk in the snow, as I prepare dinner. Because of all that white, it's far from pitch-dark, actually lovelier and brighter than this time any other day.




Earlier, when the snow started coming down -- the second big snowfall so far, all of this winter -- I asked the boys, "What cake do you think God is making?". And I was thinking out loud, "It must be a really big one, there's so much flour being sifted through the skies!".

"Vanilla cake?"

"No, I think it's a vanilla icecream cake!"

Both boys were dreaming up mouth-watering treats of the white, fluffy kind! But all we had, left from yesterday, were some blueberry muffins, made the lazybones way, using dried cakemix out of a packet -- just add milk, stir, and leave the individual portions to bake! Still, they were yummy, especially when you eat them first thing out of the oven!



Jon is feeling better, but keeping to the school's 24 hour-fever-free policy, we have him stay home one more day. The fever had subsided when he made this request to me his morning, with a big grin plastered on his face, "Can you write this in the blog...

"I am sick but happy!".

A jubilant Jon, happy he's at home, because it means... "No school!!!!!!!!!". And, "Please add a million exclamation marks after the 'No school', can you?" he added tongue-in-cheek!

(Of course, if you look carefully, that's only part of his homework, tucked underneath him. And he still hasn't finished reading that long biography, to do up his book report).

And so, we have one boy who wants to stay home, and another one who wants me to stay home for reasons of his own...

Yesterday, Ben chose daddy to drive him to school, while I stayed with Jon. But when Ben heard Vern was coming home so I could have the car to go and fetch Ben when the morning was up, my little boy backtracked a few steps, just so he could come tell me this, before heading out the door:

"Mommy, can you not be the one to come pick me up after school? You ALWAYS come and pick me up. I want daddy!"

Hmm... I don't think it's so much a "mommy overload", but more that Ben enjoys the one-on-one time with daddy?

Staying home is cool, and for us at-home moms, it's extra cool when you think about how many more of your children's milestones you get to catch firsthand, that way. And that sure beats having them retold to you, anytime!

Only thing is, we also get a full dose of everything, including all the insane moments. And I did not need an article in a parenting magazine, to remind me of this -- we all know there is the "Terrible 2's", but did you also know about the "Tantrum-throwing 3's" and the "Ferocious 4's"?

The article had gone on to say, that it's true that while preschoolers have better language and reasoning skills than do toddlers, yet because they also have a mind of their own, even more so than before, they don't want to miss out on this and that, and the power struggles can get worse.

With my two boys, whether or not they are both home at the same time, there's more 'wrestling' (as I often call it) from them, between them, and with us parents, more than you want to know! And there was in fact a very big meltdown this afternoon, right in the middle of the snowstorm. That at first, it had started out as just big blobs of tears rolling down Ben's cheeks, but before long, turned into a temper-throwing tantrum. Half an hour later, Ben was still hopping mad, and stomping away, and even when I took him aside, could not be calmed.

What triggered it? Ben and Jon had agreed to work on a picture together, but when Ben felt Jon crossed the line and turned the picture into his own, he just could not take it. Jon didn't want to budge, and that only made matters worse.

Before the fight, Ben watches as Jon goes to work on their shared piece of snow painting...

Isn't it mind-blowing, how one moment, they can be so sweet together, and the very next, things just go crazy right before our eyes?

Finally, what did the trick this time, for no amount of talking to Ben nicely, and asking him to take deep breaths seemed to work, was when I sat down with him to do another picture. But only when he stopped wailing and whining.

Eventually, the boys' pictures, to call their own...


I really think the relationship between siblings, like between spouses and partners, can do so much better, if there is more give-and-take. But it is also another of those hard-to-teach things.

No doubt, though, mommies who stay home can do with a bit of time to themselves now and then, often when we least expect it, but that could be when we most likely need it!

And so, when the daddy could take the kids for a special snow stroll, never mind it was just for a few minutes, our boys came back recharged, and ate up most of their dinner! They are happy, and I find my sanity again!

Guess what I am

It starts with letter S.
It has no legs.
It is a reptile!

And when probed by his classmates for one more clue, Ben added a fourth one:
It is very long!

Last Friday was Ben's fourth time as the Star of the Day, since he started preschool coming to half a year now. Still, each time the special day rolled around, he would be just excited, and usually would already have something in mind to bring for the show-n-tell, even before the schedule was out for when would be whose turn.

Now Ben was at first thinking Fluffy, his plush penguin, or maybe his favourite plant-eating dinosaur he'd recently started referring to, affectionately, as "Triceratop-sy"(?!!). But that was before he asked me the other day, if we could make a green anaconda, "the largest snake", "but it is not venomous". The same snake, that not too long ago, big brother Jon wrote about, and neither boy has since given up his love for reptiles big and small.

And because Ben was in his "snip, snip, snip, snip away" phase -- so much so he snipped a hole in our cushion (!) -- I thought, why not we just cut a spiral on a paper plate! Very easily done -- colour, cut, dot in the eyes, and add a forked tongue, and he got himself his mystery object!

Ben's "reversible" reptile that he hid in the mystery bag for his friends to guess. One side he'd coloured green, to be the anaconda, and the other, red, to be a rattlesnake!

We went on to make another five or six more snakes like this, and then, also a different snake using a sock (just take an old sock, decorate it as you like, and slip it over your hand), and a paper-plate turtle (below).

The 'sock' snake (not photographed), and the turtle are both taken from a "Sing!, Play!, Create!" book by Lisa Boston, I really happened to just chance on it, at the library. But it sure offered us some "crafty" ideas! And I know, from more of such library finds before, such is the grace of God and His goodness, in everyday things that do matter to us!

Feeding time for Ben's 'pet' reptiles!

In fact, just yesterday, Ben himself picked out yet more great reptile reads of the fictional and non-fictional kind, purely based on what he liked or not on the books' covers (no kidding!). And we've been digesting what we can -- in the day with me, or at bedtime and if it's daddy tucking them in, Ben and Jon will always wrangle out a longer tale, than from this exhausted mommy!

I think kids will dig this book by Bob Barner on "Dinosaurs Bones", that mixes rhymes and colourful illustrations with facts like how much the skull of a T-Rex weighs.

So Rrrroar! Reptiles rock on (in our home)!

"I am a komodo dragon!" goes Ben one moment, and the very next, he's pretending, "Now I am a gila monster!". And then when he's not snarling, he's hissing away, and even showing his 'fangs' and upping his defenses when a not-so-friendly big brother isn't being kind to him, and vice versa, as our 'cobra' wants to get even, too! Once, when he felt so threatened by the bigger (can be overbearing) being, he even left his teeth marks (ouch!), and I had some 'taming' (time-out!) to do with both of them.

Ben, who only has school three mornings a week, can't wait for Jon to finish school every day, so he can play with his Gor Gor. But they fight so much over anything and everything, today while Jon is home the whole day, this mommy is doubly busy -- she has to be both faciltator and arbitrator (to break up the fights!), more than she ordinarily needs to be on a schoolday!

And sssnoozing his way out of this one...
No, Jon is not "eating snake" (pun intended!), he caught a bug that's been going around. Eight students from his class were absent on the same day early last week, and by week's end, the count was seven, including a few whose fever hadn't subsided, and some new ones. Jon's fever started after school yesterday, and besides him, five others also called in sick today.

Jon is understandably tired, and went and napped yesterday and today, without having to be asked. Otherwise, he's taking it easy, and surely doesn't mind the "I get to relax and watch TV" part of it! =)

Being at home also means more time for him to take his own sweet time to do his worksheets. His homework, that we are still expected to collect from his teacher at day's end. But we are not hounding him to complete everything right away, since getting all better is the priority now.

Meanwhile, the temperature's swinging like crazy. Within half a day, it went up to 73F, then back down to 63F, 52F, and there were flurries (light snow) for awhile when it dropped to 32F (or 0C, i.e. freezing point), and it continues to plunge some more! I went quickly to get most of the week's grocery done while it was still warmer in the morning, when Vern could watch the boys before he had to be in school. But he had to head home before dinner, when there was a passing tornado watch, that thankfully lasted for only a short while. It's now 15F (-9C), not the lowest predicted yet.

No, I don't take well to the hot-cold, hot-cold, and especially not the super-cold. Hissssss!!!

Little things that count

"Don't sweat the small stuff", you must have heard that said many times over. But amidst the daily grind, and some crazier-than-crazy days, I'm trying not to forget those little things that can matter, and do make a difference for my little ones as well as for me.

Like...

Setting aside time to play...
Even when homework seems endless, and no doubt the husband's and my patience has been stretched by it, but I feel it too for Jon, who must be tired after a long schoolday. The very things we threaten to remove (as punishment), are also what we don't want to deny our children of, for they can always benefit from some playtime, a good bedtime story, and yes, even that favourite TV show, to help them unwind!

Jon likes building things, and here, he puts together a parachute, inspired by a "Mythbusters" program he and Ben were watching while I was fixing a quick meal.



Simple pleasures in the form of something, anything, good to eat -- homecooked!
Recently, Jomel started her Delicious Comfort food blog. How apt a name, I thought, and I agree fully with her that yummy homecooked food, especially when "cooked with your heart" (in her words), is very comforting indeed! And I look forward to more of her delicious food posts!

And now, if you have seen my simple dishes, it doesn't have to be complicated. The definition of "yummy" -- for me at least, is when the kids eat up their share, and ask for "More, please!"

When temperatures dipped to a low of -15C last week, instead of cookies or cake, or just fruits, I made the boys simple hot snacks, that could be fixed in a jiffy or cooked ahead and warmed up once home after Jon's school. (But not too much, because I want them to have dinner, too).

- Got 5 minutes?
If scrambled eggs or omelete works for breakfast, why not for snacktime also? This one's a little fanicer, with some shrimp, that both Jon and Ben ate up in no time! Ordinarily, one boy will have his with ham, and maybe mushroom also, but not the other, and neither of them will go for other typical ingredients like tomatoes, peppers, and onions, that may be more up your alley. Then again, it's whatever works!



- Got 10 minutes?
Steam something quick and easy, like these corn, that our boys prefer to cold cereal, and alternatively works well too as a simple side for dinner! Or maybe some "bao", that over here, we get them frozen, and Jon and Ben will eat the red bean ones, so I usually have some in our freezer.



- Got 30 minutes, if not 30 seconds?
I also always have some refrigerated biscuits handy, that I can easily grab to make mini pizzas -- choose your favourite toppings (Hawaiian? Supreme? Seafood? etc), or to use as a wrap -- like these "piggies in a blanket", over whatever filling of your choice (besides sausages, any precooked meat like chicken, or even meat floss works, and also canned tuna and sardines that my fussy eaters aren't too keen about though). Most of the time, I just leave the biscuits to bake in the oven at the same time dinner is already being cooked in there, and reheat them in the microwave for a quick snack the next day.



Ben likes it too, when all I do is just add cheese only to the otherwise plainer-tasting biscuit dough, and the same I do, with dinner rolls. They work for him, who will not eat the normal bread (white, wheat, whatever variety), for breakfast, lunch (as the carbo component, more than he will eat rice), and as a side for dinner. But no, I don't give it to him for all three meals in a day, otherwise that'll be too much of the same thing.

And...

Within reasonable limits, letting the kids have a say in the things that matter to them...

Jon asked if we could have soup with noodles, instead of the stir-fried chicken and vegetables I was planning to cook for Friday night's dinner to go with rice. And why not, and especially with no worries about having to cook more to pack for the guys' lunch the next day, dinner became a la steamboat style. A mixed pot of soup, with chicken still, and whatever else that could be thawed easily enough, like shrimp, sotong rings, baby clam, and fishballs, besides just vegetables, mushrooms, and egg, too, and not forgetting the vermicelli! He slurped it all up, and had at least three helpings!


Ben decided it was his "hot dog" cookies he wanted to share with his classmates when his turn for show-and-tell rolled around before the week was up. We used Pillsbury's boxed cakemix that he simply stirred in the eggs and oil for the dough, and rolled into 'sausages' (hence, the term he coined), his own idea to make them differently from the regular, more predictable round-shaped cookies. And instead of frosting (that will be messier for the teachers to wipe off little faces) and just sprinkles called for in Pillsbury's recipe, we always like ours with choc chips (dark and white), and sprinkles for the colour and extra sweetness! His classmates had as many as four each, and Ben was grinning from ear to ear when his teacher thanked him for what a hit the treat was.


So I guess, some small stuff does count! What are some daily comforts that help you de-stress? How about a cuppa, and some food for thought to go along, courtesy of Stay-At-Home Mum?

You have a fabulous week now!

What does it take to be firm with our children?

Homework time has been an extremely, even more uphill task than ever, all of this week. It's one (can be equally trying) thing to get Ben out of the way (and interested in doing something meaningful of his own), so he won't be a distraction, and another, for Jon himself not to always be so distracted, even when Ben is happily minding his own business. Both of them need individual attention, but there's only one of mom, one of dad, and I just think we shouldn't always have to bother the man of the house who has his own work he's pressed for time to do.

New year, old things. This, like our morning routine that has been the case these years and I expect (wish, hope) at least the older child to get it by now, yet, it's something else we have not managed to instil in our seven-year-old. I'm sad, disheartened, tired, and exasperated. There's just so much of the same old things we should have to go over and over again.

Every day this week, Jon has been behind in his schoolwork. We have been spending more than two hours each evening on second-grade homework, and only if one of us sits down with him, if not, he will take even longer, and still not be done. On a 'good' day, and I'm trying not to dread it, it looks something like this:

Half an hour to get a page of cursive writing done (and why, why must the school pick one of the fanciest font types?), half an hour to read chapters out of a book (which thankfully, Jon is doing better by himself now), and over an hour to do a simple Math worksheet of the day, and all the other work he failed to complete in school! And that's not counting all the time wasted to being distracted, very distracted, because of all of Jon's excuses to interrupt his homework with this and that.

There are more worksheets this weekend, not to mention a book report that Jon has first to read up all 170 pages of the biography (and now, I'm wondering if we should have picked a shorter book instead), and another assignment on ancestors (that I am pretty clueless about) to be done as soon as possible.

But you know, there's more to a day, than just trying to get homework done and out of the way. Sigh! What is wrong?

"Is work too difficult, and you cannot keep up?". I asked Jon, for I was understandably concerned, no, make that very concerned! But he doesn't think so, and he is able to do his schoolwork when he puts his mind to it. Then, what's going on?

At first, I thought maybe it could be because we took a break over the Martin Luther Day holiday (more on that, when I get a chance, and we aren't so out of sync with things). Jon missed two days of school, but we also brought along with us a whole lot more to work on, that also, not suprisingly, took a whole lot to prod Jon to get it done while on the trip. Then, once back, his teachers have been telling us how much concentration it takes for Jon, to try and focus in class.

For two days, he also complained of headaches, and it must have felt bad enough, for him to have to call me one time from the school office. But when I gave him the choice, he didn't want to come home early, and asked for some Tylenol instead. Good or not so good for him who was trying out those chewable tablets for the first time, "They tasted horrible, and the medicine did not work," came his conclusion. "Maybe we should take you to the doctor," I was getting worried, but Jon assured me he was fine. Is 7 too young for malingering to start? I couldn't help but also wonder.

I am a worrier, and probably more so now as an at-home mom than if I were caught up with a 9-to-if-only-it-ends-at-5 job. So, I went and sat in Jon's class for a couple of hours, yesterday, while Ben was waiting for me to show up in his 3K class for his Star of the Day.

I was not surprised by what I saw, and it confirmed my guess, intuition, and sixth sense that this is a pre-exisiting problem. Jon who doesn't sit still doing homework at home, who looks at everything else but at his book in Chinese class, is just as distracted in school! More than once, I couldn't take how distracted he was, and went up to poke him in the back, and said, "Could you pay attention, please?".

At one point, I wasn't sure whether he was going to cut up his old Star Wars watch his dad had taken out for him that morning, in the hopes to get Jon to keep time better. All this, while a spelling test was going on. But snip, snip, snip, Jon was snipping away at the rubber strap, and whatever else under his desk (out of the teacher's sight, but of course). And as if being distracted wasn't bad enough, his dawdling worked against him, too. He ended up having to put up his hand twice to ask for the last two words "hummingbird" and "Audobon" in the list, after the other students were all done. The bird he got right, but the artist's name, when he struggled with it, the teacher, who probably also could not take his dillydallying, told him to just hand in his answers.

Is it Jon's laidback attitude, not the lack of aptitude, and our clash in personalities that at least one book about different learning styles I've read, has convinced me plays a part in all this? Or more so, my own lack of firmness, a failure on my part to be a good (good enough) parent?

To cane or not to cane
Nomadic Mom tagged me on whether we use the rod in our home. If by rod, you and I are thinking the cane or "tengtiao", then no. Somehow we didn't have it back in Singapore, nor here, and I don't think either Jon or Ben knows what one looks like.

But the whacks I do give the boys on their bums with my bare hand (and they will tell me, those don't hurt), when they do or say something utterly disrespectful or show their outright disobedience, and more with Ben but less with Jon, because Jon would wrestle with me and wrestle out of it each time, I realize they seem to work better only at a very young age. Already, it does not quite work even for Ben, whom I started the whacks after reading Tedd Tripp's "Shepherding a child's heart" and he was already 2 by then. Either I haven't understood the spanking concept fully, or it's simply because the husband and I interpret the rod to not have to mean the cane.

As the child grows, too, other means of punishment like taking away privileges, do seem to make better sense, and he or she feels it more. I hope we haven't compromised the whole act of discipline by not interpreting the rod so literally -- the way it was for many of us, how we've been brought up, not that the cane left a damning mark or lifelong scar on any of us, since it was used just for those terribly naughty times, not done as an act of abuse.

For me and my children, these old things that crop up again and again, and still need a lot of work as you can see, are like a wake-up call for this mommy to learn to be fimer in my disciplining them, and how better to see through consequences. Not just in getting Jon to be responsible for his own homework. But everyday things, like when I've warned them that there will be no TV, no bedtime story, no snack, if they fight or misbehave, I have to mean what I say. Or when we are outside, they act up, and I've said we will head right home, I should do that and not linger around, trying to still finish up on some errand.

It's so much easier to encourage and reward, and my soft side does come in for too much of all our own good sometimes! But no, tough love is not easy, and I totally agree that it is necessary, for spare the rod (however you interpret the rod to be), and we end up spoiling our children.

This tag has been going around for awhile now. You can read more about some other parents' ways/views here and there, among other places. I would like to highlight the point raised by Kopi Soh (aka Firehorse), that if you have to strike, be sure you are not doing it out of anger, or taking it out on your child. And you know what they say, parents should also give ourselves a time-out to cool down some, if we have to, so we can think clearly what punishment to give, instead of doing or saying something we regret later.

I will not be tagging anyone specifically. But it will be very helpful to hear from as many of you, whether you are a mom of young children like me, or you've been there, done that -- what works for you, or not! Your sharing always means so much to me, and I really appreciate it whenever you take the trouble to drop me a line. Now I don't deny it, this crazy adventure called PARENTING can drive me pretty crazy!

In the meanwhile...
Like an ultimatum to Jon, we've told him that we will have to stop chess, and not sign up for any more tournaments, and the baseball season coming up -- all of which I would hate to have him give up, knowing they will offer a fine balance to just schoolwork only -- if he does not make an effort to keep up with what's within the curriculum. Is that fair?

And a few basic things, like making sure the boys go to bed early enough, we are also trying to be consistent with, so there's no excuse for running late in the morning, and starting the day on the wrong footing, or being on time but arriving in school feeling tired already. Which, for all I know, could be the reason why Jon is behind, because he didn't get a chance to settle into his schoolday nicely in the first place.

Every day, it's been the same bedtime prayer I say with Jon, for him to focus, for him to do his best. I just look forward to when things won't be so out of whack. The constant, almost non-stop fighting between the brothers is another big thing, that saps me so, but that's another story, and enough of ranting already! =(

Mad mornings

Mornings you'll hear me say a bit more than, "Let's go!". More often than not, it's "Hurry up, we're going to be late!", if not, "Hurry up, we are late!".

The husband is a great help, getting Ben ready, and Jon as far along in the process. All this while I'm heating up their lunches to pack into thermos jars and insulated bags, getting water-bottles and juiceboxes ready, and preparing a simple breakfast that we always just end up eating on-the-go, whether we are early or running late, and whether one or both boys have school.

But Jon, and he's not the only one who isn't a morning person, can be quite the dawdler and will be dragging his feet to get out of bed, to go wash up, and now that it's winter and with more to put on (cap, gloves and all, besides the layers), the dressing up part takes even loooooonger.

The rest of us could be done 10 minutes ahead of time, and ready to head out the door, but Jon, dear Jon, he will just be putting on his socks. And then he will change his mind about whether he wants an extra layer over his attire, before he finally reaches for his coat, and sometimes forgetting his backpack, in the daze to put on his shoes! And I tell him, ditch the laced ones, go for the velcros; better yet, "Just grab your shoes, and wear them on the way!"!

Running late again this morning, because Jon wasn't budging when he should, I tried not to be switching lanes, what with traffic now heavier since the closure of a major highway, and more vehicles diverted to the main road outside our place, and using the highway we always take to school as their detour route.

"You know, Jon," I heard myself say to him, and Ben who was right beside Jon, driving as quickly as I could but still keeping to the speed limit, "I do not want to be driving dangerously, just because you take your own sweet time, and we still have to try and get to school on time." Rather a tardy slip from the school office for lateness, than a speeding ticket or more to be sorry about.

But I resisted turning it into a pep talk, for that wouldn't have been the best way for the boys nor me to start our day. Not that I haven't said enough already. At the supermarket on my own after that, I was asking myself if I had been curt, whilst trying to cool down and take a few deep breaths! But this should not have to happen day after day.

What will you do? How do you get your family out of the door in the morning, without having to always rush them or yourself, and especially the one(s) who's never in a hurry to go anywhere?

Should I wake Jon up as early as when I hit the showers? Whether or not he wakes up early or at the usual time, I've realized though, he will take as long as he can to get ready. But I do not want to have to turn something as basic as this into a bribery of sorts (or call it by some nicer-sounding name), although at one point when Jon was younger, getting ready for school was something to aim for on his rewards chart. Neither would I want to turn it into some punishment, having (or threatening) to remove this privilege or that. Is there no other way? Stuff that we can get ready the night before, we already are doing, like what to wear, chosen and set aside ahead, and backpacks lined up near the door, to grab and go!

"Look mom, it's snowing!"

It's still winter, yes, and there is just a wee bit of snow this morning, but hardly any accumulation (read: definitely not enough to play in).

Before that, we had our own miniature version indoors (photos show the parts of the house with the least amount of snowfall):



So, one child saw it as that -- "Look mom, it's snowing!". And the other thought of it as the "secret ingredient" for their make-believe "Who's cuisine will reign supreme?" Iron Chef food challenge!

Now these are the things as a mom or dad, you want to rate the kids high on originality. Forty-five minutes after you've got down on all fours, though, and you've mobilized everything from the not-so-trusty handheld vacuum cleaner to the no-longer-amused husband, besides still trying to pick up and pick out the teeny specks with your fingers, you don't know whether to laugh or to cry!

Don't underestimate those white bits -- they break up into a million and one pieces, and are so feathery light, the ones that don't stick to anything and everything, have a way of floating themselves into nooks and crannies, and the deepest of the deep fluffs in the rugs! So much so that trundling over them with a vacuum cleaner, or getting the nozzle to do the job, just doesn't work.

You have to take my word for it, even if your child's old enough not to put anything this small into his or her mouth, it's not something you want to offer freely to him or her to play with. This isn't the first major cleanup of this sort for us (I know, I know, every time I said no more of it, but somehow it had a way of cropping up). And even finely shredded paper, tiny balls of foil, crushed pasta, and whatever else our boys lay their hands on for "masak-masak" and seldom fail to convert into miniscule proportions (!), don't come close. But oh, give me the real thing, anytime!

Mommy not allowed!

After we re-organized the boys' bedroom, hoping the new sleeping arrangement will take away one reason for them to fight, Jon rushed to put this sign up on the door:



A much amused, bemused daddy couldn't help but ask Jon and Ben, "So, who's going to make your beds? Clean your room? Get you your laundry?"

Inspired, no less, one day later -- after he has slept on it, Jon added a flap to his sign. Now it comes with a friendlier option... for whenever he or Ben needs some room service! Ha!

Less haste, more speed

How are you doing? Thanks for dropping me a line! Here's a long update, to make up for me going MIA for a bit longer than usual!

School resumed, that's right, a week ago, and we're back to our whir of activities! But like these pretty primrose that bloomed at the start of the year, and other times leaves you waiting and waiting, I'm trying not to be in such a hurry all the time!



I'm back to packing lunchboxes, yes, but hopefully not packing too many things to do, especially on the three days I have the mornings to myself while Ben is in school, before having to go back to pick him up first, then, Jon and Vern.



Sandwiches, wraps, or these pita pockets go down well with us adults, less so with our boys. Jon and Ben still prefer a noodle or pasta lunch, that some old tricks continue to work for us in the new year. Like using back the same ingredients as for dinner (yes, there's hardly a meal now when I'm not cooking extra portions), and if I can, throw in a little surprise element (such as our all-time fave fishballs!), other than simply swopping the carbos for a bit of variation.


Stir-fried beef is great, but tender meat tastes better microwaved for the next meal, so beef stew is a smarter choice when I want to 'kill' dinner, and lunch the next day, with one big pot...


It's easier and quicker for me to get as much grocery done, and whatever errands out of the way, than to contend with Ben's shopping cart antics, or Jon's whining. Or have to bother the husband, who himself has enough on his plate, with the run-of-the-mill chores, that again, are less challenging for me to manage alone, when both boys are in school, or in bed.

It's a different kind of stress from being a working mom, when I would be bringing work home or mulling over some uncompleted project, but not wanting to miss out on quality time with the family. Still, now, from the word "Go!", it's a long day for stay-at-home moms, and I would like to sit down more, in between keeping house, and keeping to our schedules, not to mention keeping sane also!

And because there's only that much I can do on my own, and so much later I should go to bed than them, when it's something that can be helped, that I do not have to "must get it done right away", I'm appreciating it more and more, when my three guys can help me, in whatever ways they can. And even when it means that a task will take longer to complete. For that's when I do catch my breath!

So, surely some good can come out of involving the children to help out with little things around the house, never mind that we are still just working with them to pack away their stuff (strewn all over the place) at day's end. We do it together, though more often than not, the daddy or me is still the one, not the boys, picking up the lion's share of whatever is lying around.

No, I'm not a neatnik, if you don't already know that by now, but it's nice to wake up to some semblance of order -- and not be tripping over a stumbling Lego block or more, first thing in the morning, before we start another hopefully-not-too-chaotic day!

We can certainly benefit from more routines and structure, something I'm not good at implementing or adhering to, though! What you see here, are among the saner moments in our days, when the boys aren't fighting, or when any one of our stress levels isn't going up and rubbing off on the other!



For us so far, the kitchen seems to work best as the starting point for Jon and Ben to chip in. Maybe because both boys are not over their "Iron Chef America" craze, and me three! I sure hope Bobby Flay will live up to his coveted Iron Chef status once again, having been defeated twice in a row already!

Ben breaks up the baby bok choy, and he will happily do so, if I promise him his own private "stash" to chop into smithereens afterwards (though it can be terribly messy to clean up, because of the juices from the greens)!


Like Ben who doesn't automatically clear his plate, Jon still has to be reminded to take his lunchbox and school folder out of his backpack once home. But he obliges when I ask him to dice the potatoes for this braised chicken. And he goes on to lick the bone clean, although after that, he's been saying "no thanks" to more of such requests to hone his fine (culinary?/) motor skills!


But doesn't the food always taste extra sweet, when you've had a hand in making it? Do you remember when you fried your first egg? What's your trick for measuring the amount of water for steamed rice, besides doing it by the cupfuls -- do you dip your hand, palm down, into the rice cooker, or just your finger, to see how far the water rides up?



Before school started, when we were housebound for a little bit, two friends Corinne and Ann came and hung out with us for the evening...


And the one outing we managed all break long, was to the Science Centre. The fascinating Gunther von Hages' Body Worlds 3 -- the original exhibition of real human bodies -- had made its way here, but we weren't up to it, so we caught "Human Body" instead, our first show at the Omnimax! The boys were more intrigued with the dinosaurs, it seemed, a perennial favourite with them...



Always in a hurry?

Now I wasn't scouring literature on slowing down, but every other article I've come across this past week seems to be talking about de-stressing, and sleeping better. And there was even one with a reminder to take care of ourselves, specifically ourselves -- in the course of trying to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, and all the other good things we try to be, sometimes more than for our own good!

Are you always in a hurry, too? Rushing from place to place, one thing to another?

Already running late for school, but when Jon seemed to be taking his own sweet time, I was really anxious, and kept asking him to "Hurry up!", "Quick!", "Get in the car!". The husband, and he's the more calm and collected of us two (and whose Type B genes Jon obviously has), was just leaning over for his cup of milk. Sipping it, like you would hot latte, except it was cold milk (!), and peering over his mug, Vern said to me matter-of-factly, "No used you getting all worked up, Jon is missing one sock.".

I thought back to a few days before that, to a different incident when I had tried my best to hurry, but could not, and the woman who couldn't wait for me to back out of the parking spot, had gestured to me frantically, spouting can't-be-anything-nice from behind her windscreen, if her facial expressions were anything to go by.

Trying to ask Jon to get going, when he was stuck, I was no different from that driver. The reason I could not reverse out of the spot sooner, was because if I had not waited, I would have rammed straight into two people walking right in my path -- one of them talking on the cellphone and oblivious to where she was heading, and the other, pushing a cart.

More haste, less speed. And conversely, it's true, too -- less haste, more speed! I'm trying to do that, and slow down some! Multitasking still works, no doubt, but I'm seeing too, that if I can help it, and I focus on one thing at a time, it may be more productive than working myself up into a frenzy, trying to do too many things at one go!

Taking five, and sitting down with Ben to work on a paper-plate hippo...


And with that, I've come to the end of this rather long, but true tale.

You have a T-rex-ffic week now! =)

"If you operate on what you believe a good mother/partner/friend would do and you leave
yourself - what you need, how you feel - out of the equation, your relationships will suffer.

"I'm here to tell you that cherishing yourself by making yourself a priority in your own life is
possible. You can take care of your needs and your relationships with family and friends
can thrive..."

- Geneen Roth in "First Things First", Good Housekeeping, Sep 07.