I've got your back

Our lil girl has got the sniffles. We take turns to carry her in this upright position that seems to be the most friendly for her to breathe more effortlessly.

My back hurts, but we hold back plans to try and switch her out of her night-day mixup.

And yeah, still feeding her a lot more on demand, than watching the clock.

But look at that face, and tell me, you'll back me up?

Adjusting... and family matters

Parenting is a lesson in adjusting
... comes the reminder from a parenting newsletter, to my in-box this week, as Kaitlyn turns 2 weeks old yesterday. And it adds, too, "...don't get too comfortable; your baby will continue to surprise you with new developments and changes to keep you on your toes."

Now what it didn't say, to second- or third-time parents like me, is that besides the baby, the older children are also the ones to keep us on our toes!

Kaitlyn is our third child, yes, and some things (about babies) we've been through before with Jon and Ben. Like the "nocturnal" phase, that we just have to bear with it for awhile more, but yes, I'm pooped!

Things around the house are also more routine, like, cooking and doing laundry, these being lighter chores I've gone back to do as soon as I could, and where we can cut corners, we do, if not put on hold. Bringing home baby, we've been blessed, too, by families from our church who provided us with a week of dinner, under a service to help parents with newborns adjust to the new routines.

The biggest challenge is, how can we meet every child's needs, when not just the baby is the only one crying out for attention?

The boys have been more prone to meltdowns and tantrums especially since school started, and we've had many a crazier-than-crazy moment! And if not at least one boy who's going "Waaa!" instead of using words, then, the other is choosing to have selective hearing and shoots back with, "Can't hear you!"!

At this time, we can't be more grateful that we had help from my sis at first, and then, now after she left, my MIL is here. Before that, I was really concerned over how we have so many more disorganized messes than organized messes around the house, and all are messes... yikes! But if all I focused on was how to straighten out our place, then I would have missed out on the whole point of spending precious time with our loved ones.

It is such a luxury having family visit us in a home away from home!
My sis and I both cried when she left to go back to Singapore at the end of the first week. My MIL, too, or "Nana" as our children call her, has travelled a long way, to come dote on Jon, Ben, and Kaitlyn, not just to be here for Vern and me.

Earlier, celebrating Vern's birthday...
Besides Daddy's little girl, the daddy himself is also an August child!

Vern's mom arrived the same evening he turned a year older, just in time to sit down with us for a simple homecooked meal, and the birthday cake that was the surprise...


When Vern was getting the boys ready to fetch Nana from the airport, the craziest idea seized me when I had just enough time to scrounge our pantry for a boxed cakemix -- to whip up simply, and leave it to bake at the same time the chicken was being cooked in the oven.

And good girl Kaitlyn, she took a cat nap right after the cake was done! So I didn't have to try and frost the cake using one hand, and managed to stow it away just before the guys and Nana got back!

Can you spot the heart, as Stardust may ask, in this little gesture on my part to celebrate the husband's special day? =)

Happy Birthday to the super wonderful daddy Vern is!


And day by day, step by step, we're adjusting... slowly but (I pray) surely... to being a 3-kid family!

School starts!

The first to sit down to breakfast, Ben asked the same thing he'd gone to bed looking forward to, the night before, "Is it the first day of school?"!

Jon was not quite as excited though. Because school = "homework, and more homework!" And I wasn't about to get him started on how "not fair!" it is that Di Di doesn't get any real homework.


A couple more shots, and a funny face here and there...


... and the boys are off to a good start for the schoolyear, I pray!


Their good daddy took these other shots, so I'd get a slice of the action in school, too...




So then, it's more adjustments to new schedules. Longer hours for Ben, Jon's afterschool activities starting already, and depending on Vern's schedule, I may have to get back to driving the boys faster than we thought.

Meanwhile, I'm allowing myself a bit of luxury -- ordering hot lunches from the school for Jon and Ben for these first weeks as I settle down with Kaitlyn. I thought it'd be a treat for them as well, but my fussy eaters tell me we'll have to wait and see!

Bringing home baby

The first days of bringing home baby are both exhausting and exciting at the same time!

Kaitlyn has her day mixed up with night, and quite the pair of lungs. In the otherwise still darkness, her eyes are wide open. By the crack of dawn, I'm hunched over and panda-eyed from all that nursing and poopy diaper changing, and carrying and patting, trying to soothe the fussing babe.

In their enthusiasm, Jon and Ben fight over who'll get to carry Kaitlyn. And it's not a pretty sight whenever this ends up in crying bouts and tantrums.

Neither do their blatant disobedience, and their roughhousing (when more than once, they fall "splat" on the wood floor, and land one on top of the other... OUCH!!!) go down well with me. Especially in my sleep-deprived state, once the adrenaline's worn off, and I, too, have my crazy moments =(.

Vern has been really wonderful, and bears with it all. Balancing his schoolwork alongside his fatherly duties, being there for the boys and spending time with his little princess, of course!

No, it's not easy to juggle every one's needs. Our hands have never been so full! But while boys will be boys, and they won't stop their boisterous ways because there's a baby girl in the home, Kaitlyn does have a way of bringing out the gentle side of our three guys...

I like how Vern speaks to Kaitlyn in a gentle voice, and the best moments for me this first week must be watching Jon and Ben begin to bond with Kaitlyn in their own ways...



Praise God, we've made it through the first week!
There is much to be grateful for, and you've all been oh so sweet with your well-wishes and kind words, and thank you for keeping us in prayer! Your reminder for me to take care of myself, was also what my sister said to me when she arrived and saw me indulging the guys. And now, I have one more new love to dote on!

My sis leaves tomorrow, she's been such a blessing, being there for us more than we can ask for.

And there, we finally got Aunty G to carry baby Kaitlyn also, not just bond with Ben and Jon...

Yesterday, Kaitlyn had to make a return trip to the doctor's for a second bilirubin test. Thankfully, the jaundice (typical in breastfed babies) is within reasonable levels.

I hope this has been a fruitful visit for my sis. And I don't mean the hands-on experience of "days in the life of this at-home mom" for her. Or the good buys she snagged in the pockets of shopping time here and there, though we all know retail therapy helps! But most of all, warm memories to take home with her, of this time of bonding with us =).

P.S. Sorry I'm not able to respond to your comments individually. But if you're still curious...
- This is my elder sis. It's OK if you think I'm the more (ahem!) senior one ;p
- I did get to enjoy the epidural for 20 minutes, even though the contractions were already 2 mins apart by then, and pretty unbearable!
- Glasses can work wonders to hide dark circles and eye bags! =)

Have a wonderful weekend coming up! God bless!

And she's here!

It was a swift delivery. Baby Kaitlyn made her debut last night, within two hours of mommy and daddy arriving at the hospital!

Meet Kaitlyn

born Aug 13, at 10.29 pm

Measuring 20 inches, and...
Weighing in at 3.162 kg , or 6lb 15.5 oz (just 0.5 oz short of 7 lb!), she may not be as big as her 8lb+ brothers at birth, but just as huge a bundle of joy!

Lil Kaitlyn waves a BIG HI! to everyone...


And mommy says:
Thanks so much for your support, it means so much to us! In these last couple of weeks especially, hardly a day went by without someone reminding us we're being thought of, prayed for... we feel so loved, so blessed!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, and His richest blessings be with you and yours!

Right after the delivery...

... and the good hands we were in! And Vern and me, relieved our little girl didn't take her own sweet time with the labour.

Today...

Ben and Jon come in their "I'm the Big/Bigger Brother" t-shirts, excited to see their sister for the very first time! (I'd used iron-ons for their tees, and also got them books as presents -- supposedly from baby to them).



Jon draws a picture of Kaitlyn...

... when "she's only half a day old"!

And isn't that pink ribbon a pretty touch on the hospital's part? Vern asked if boys get blue ribbons... hahaha!

(For the record, these aren't my regular PJ's... but this is the only time it's cool for me to be seen in them)! ;p

New beginnings...
Kaitlyn and I go home tomorrow. My sis -- what'll we do without her already here? -- leaves in a week. And then, my MIL will come when the boys have just resumed school.

With the changes to our schedules -- the new baby and me the tired mommy, summer almost ending and having to get the boys into school mode again, Vern and his pressing deadlines, and MIL will need her rest also because of the jet lag -- I pray we'll all be fit and healthy. By God's grace, we'll take it one day at a time.

Catch you later! Many thanks again for being here for me and my family! Your love and friendship so warm my heart! =)

So, what did it? (the birth story, for those who asked)
We were at the botanic garden when the first painful contraction struck, followed by a second one 20 minutes later. What was not so "textbook" was that in less than 1.5 hours, the contractions would become 5 minutes apart and much more intense, after dropping off the boys and my sis at home, and I was already 7.5 cm dilated when Vern and I reached the hospital!

It was a regular Wednesday otherwise, when I'd take the boys to the library, and I did, with my sis, and we also squeezed in a trip to the mall for a wee bit of shopping for her.

This, while Vern was in school, I drove, and he called with the idea of the garden visit as it was the last time the summer concert was to be held that evening. We headed back home first for an early dinner (I'd left chicken to stew in the slow cooker), before coming back out.

The boys got to play for half an hour in the garden's playground, and my sis caught some of the mosaic Niki sculptures still on display. But we had to roll up our picnic mat just before the band started playing, when that grimace on my face said it all!

Maybe it was all the traipsing around town. Maybe it was the "Ben and Jerry's" icecream that Ben and I had -- as part of the treat I promised him and Jon if they would be more patient shoppers.

The same brand of icecream had apparently "worked" for another mom we heard, to bring on the contractions while, like me, waiting for the induction date to roll around! What'd you know? Maybe Kaitlyn will grow up liking that Mango Sorbet I had! ;p

Anytime now, yeah?

The week's come and gone. No sight of our lil one yet.

I'm hanging in there, trying not to interpret every contraction, cramp in my legs, and backache, as signs of labour. But if you've gone beyond the due date when expecting your child, you probably understand how I'm feeling at this point. Tired, oh yes! But still looking forward, even more forward now to the lil one's arrival!

No two birth experiences are the same, and you must have your own story to tell. And while both Jon and Ben had arrived by this time for both my first and second pregnancies, each was born on the day when the doctor least expected him to. For Jon, my waters broke the same day we'd made an appointment for him to be induced in another week. And Ben, he arrived within hours of me almost sent home after an end-of-day checkup, and had I not asked to stay the night at the hospital, we might have been stuck on the expressway!

Last night for several hours until past 4am this morning, I was pretty sure I had regular contractions that lasted 1 min or longer each. But not wanting to jump the gun, and since it was just a 10-, not yet 5-minute interval, and not knowing how long more before the actual labour would be, I eventually went to bed when the exhaustion swept over me. Only, when I awoke some three hours after that, the contractions had subsided.

Aw, looks like Baby changed her mind. And I'd be lying to say the hubby and I were just a tad disappointed. All day long today, Vern has been asking me if there's any more of those more intense contractions.

So no, it wasn't an "Olympics" or "National Day" baby my MIL was hoping for when she skyped us the other day. But babies will come when they want to, and the Lord knows, for He knows all and knows best, right?

Meanwhile, many thanks to all of you for leaving me your sweet words of encouragement here on the blog, and in my email, and also to the old friend who called out of the blue from back home! I hope my next post will be to share with you our new addition... coming soon, real soon, yeah? =)

One week to EDD!

Counting down to my expected due date now! And my sister -- can you guess elder, or younger? ;p (I have two sisters; I'm a middle child) -- has come from almost halfway across the globe!

And while it's still easier for me, than with a newborn afterwards, to show her around a bit before she'll head back home in a couple of weeks, we took her shopping! The one thing Singaporean gals can't say no to!

At first, it was just Ben and me, whilst Jon was at a chess programme in school. Then, all of us, even though kids, and especially my boys, aren't the most patient shoppers.

Still, I think walking the mall helped some to get their aunt out of her jet lag. And while we were at it, and before the high heat index is now making her feel under the weather, it was the Gateway Arch that we couldn't not let her must-see here in St Louis! Vern is right, shouldn't sightseeing come before shopping?

Left: A kind stranger lay his back on the ground, just so he could capture the top of the Arch, in this group shot he helped us take!

Yesterday, I also gave my sister a crash course on some simple meals -- mostly the noodle soup kind -- that she can fix for the boys while I am in the hospital. It's been awhile since she's cooked. But she'll do fine, I know!

And I'm just relieved, now that she's here and the baby not arrived yet, she can be the one to babysit the boys when it's time for Vern to lend me all the support I need in the delivery room!

That has been a big worry of mine, as it'll be such a huge imposition on friends if we have to call them in the middle of the night should labour strike at an odd time of the day. We were contemplating packing the boys off with us, to go along to the hospital!

To digress a little, in response to queries on what I cook on a daily basis (and because I don't know when I'll blog my next post), here's what I served up for our dinner these last few days.....



And as you can see, cooking a different protein each day is the trick behind my simple meal-planning. If not meat, then fish... like yesterday, I did a simple baked tilapia with winter melon soup to go along (not photoed). And today, we're back to chicken again, my all-time favourite meat to cook, for how versatile it is, and usually goes down best with the kids! Not that they eat everything I dish out though.


This is the first time I'm seeing my sis again after coming here...
And she is also seeing me as the at-home mom that I am for four years now. My hands full with the chores and children, and the driving here and there that wasn't quite up my alley last time. No longer am I the working mom I'd left off as, with domestic help back home and loved ones living near enough we could rely on whenever we needed a hand.

This is the key challenge - the trying to "baokahliao" (take care of everything) between the husband and wife -- in a home away from home. I never said it's easy, and it's true I'm perpetually on my feet (still am!) until the kids fall asleep, and there will still be stuff around the house, like in most homes, that need attention.

But if you see how hard it is for the husband to get his schoolwork done once home, or ask any family in our shoes, as the wife you will also want to get as much of the housework and errands done as possible.

I may have gained some independence as a result of coming here, and through practice, got a better hang of things I either had help doing or didn't need to do before. And not that I'm on top of them, there's still plenty of room for improvement, like the more organized home that eludes me, and kids we want to see better behaved. There's always much to do, more I'd like to do, but so little time!

Nevertheless, and very importantly, there are basic things that I must not take for granted, and lots to be thankful for. The grace of God that takes us from day to day. And the nice and kind people He brings across our path, including those of you I've been blessed to know through blogging, besides our loved ones and dear old friends back home.

After my sis goes off, my MIL will also be coming. Now I appreciate it very much that they are putting aside their own commitments to help us transit into this next phase of our lives. At the same time, I feel bad they are coming all the way here, yet I can't be all the host I like, not to have to bother them with the daily grind.

That's the reason why I've been hoping that the lil one will come sooner rather than later, so that prayerfully, I won't be "out of commission" for too long, but be able to quickly get back into the swing of things. Because there's going to be even more to take care of, and the husband's schedule not getting any lighter.

Will you pray with me, please, that we will be able to cope nicely? Thanks so much!

OK, that's the latest longwinded update from me, in lieu of shorter, more regular posts that I should be doing if I were more blog-savvy, hehe! But better a post, than none, no? ;p

A blessed week ahead, to one and all reading this! =)