Back-to-back seasons

One moment we say hi to Spring, and the next, winter inches its way back...

... with a little snow, like a reminder that we are not done with one season to start on another.

Kait goes look out the window, early Sunday morning a week ago now...

and this is what we see!


And here I am, stopping to gaze, because I need to, because I'm overwhelmed by all the many things going on in this SUPER CRAZY BUSY last quarter for us.

Not just because the boys like to pick battles, besides the jedi kind, with one another, and with Vern and me; obedience is hard. There are the acts of mischief and outright defiance, and many routine things remain works in progress.

Not just because the baby girl at 7.5 months old a week ago started to cruise early. And then, today, much to the proud daddy's delight, she did the "Look, Pa, no hands" first, before the "Look, Ma", and stood there for a bit without having to hold on to furniture or anyone. I don't know when she will go from cruising to walking all by herself, but I know it gets busier and busier!

And now, we are especially ON OUR TOES because...

We will be relocating to the state of Washington in summer! Praise God, we're very thankful for this open door, and I can blog about it because it's official! Before that, the stress over the rigorous job talks and interviews, coupled with the major decisions to make, was much more than what a bowl of cheng teng, or doing the bunny hop, could calm. Or staying up to iron clothes and keep the husband company to burn the midnight oil; ironing can be a little therapeutic.

But the challenges are not over, Vern has to be finished with his studies here first, with the last and biggest hurdle of hurdles to cross (*STRESS*). And this, amidst preparations we have begun for the new chapter, the new season. We are excited but also really exhausted from how much there is to juggle on top of everything else every day. There is a lot of tension and THE. STRESS. IS. MOUNTING.

Right now, we are taking apart the house before we can put it back together to put on the market. However, for how very lived in we are, the major decluttering before the actual staging, before we can pack up and move, is even MORE monumental a task than the big move here. And Vern has been working very hard for days in a row, taking time out from his studies to go intensive on Operation 'Get Organized', for that's the only way.

Doing what I can as well with the many things in my department to sieve out, throw, donate, or box up and put away already. But there are also my motherly and housewifey duties, and we split the driving so it does not drive me crazy. And I do wear Kait in the sling or carrier to try and multitask, because her separation anxiety is bad and the playpen does not work for her or me.

There's lots more house stuff to conquer, and in addition, some repairs and other things to touch up. Most days, the real work can begin only after the children fall asleep, and we grab whatever winks' left every night. And having Kait sleep next to me remains my "antidote" for the very interrupted sleep, as was the case with Jon and Ben last time. After three babies, I'm none the wiser about crying it out and concluded I just cannot do it, even though I started reading yet another book advocating it awhile ago. The author did recognize that unrestricted nursing is OK in the family bed. Still, how not to be zonked?!

*INHALE* *EXHALE*

Meanwhile, looking forward to more spring blooms to take in at our doorstep and on the drive between home and school...

It's not uncommon to have snow this time of year. But you can tell it's spring from the grass growing back, and more plants coming up.

For a place that rarely snows, a bit more is expected this week!

I'll be in touch whenever I can. Thanks for checking in, my dear friends, and for your encouragement and prayers always. Your emotional support means a lot to me.

And not that we are "tie zuo de", please do not think so, but Vern and I just have to grit our teeth and get through this period, by God's grace. The search for where to live next is something else we're working on. I pray the timing for things will work out nicely for a smooth transition.

One season, one day a time. Every day is an opportunity to give thanks to God from whom all blessings flow. He is faithful, and in him we trust to see us through these stressful back-to-back seasons and all the changes coming up.

Think happy thoughts

On Picture Day this week...

I asked the boys to 'practise' smiling first thing in the morning, before sending them off with a "I love you", and "Don't forget to smile big smiles!".

And I hoped too, they would be thinking happy thoughts when their Kodak moments were captured by the profe$sional photographer in school later that day!

To be honest, I'm the one guilty of not always sounding chirpy, or thinking happy thoughts. Just been wishing Kaitlyn will distinguish night from day soon! My sleep has been scarce, and the graveyards shifts the most tiring!

But practicality dictates that I get back into the swing of things fast. Besides basic needs like cooking and laundry I can't detach myself from and went back to doing after the first few days, I also resumed driving the boys and running errands after the second week, ahead of Kaitlyn turning a month old this weekend. My MIL had said at the outset, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Referring to how (we think) our American counterparts do not practise confinement after the birth of a child.

It's true that when there are other kids and everyday stuff needing to be done, besides just the baby to take care of, it's hard for a mother to find quality rest. By the same token, Vern has his deadlines to focus on. So it's good while my MIL is still visiting us, she is able to take care of Kaitlyn when my hands are full with the boys, and especially when I go and drive them home from school. That's also when I'll squeeze in a quick grocery stop with the boys on the way back, before the baby needs to nurse, and then I'll have to make dinner and get on with the rest of our evening routine.

With the jet lag at first and with the ailments getting to my MIL more now, I try not to overly bother her in the day and leave her to have a good sleep in the nights. But I am not zonked.

Day by day...

by the grace of God, we manage life one day at a time...

And in the larger scheme of things, I concluded, it should not matter that I did not cook for myself those sesame oil and gingery dishes during my "confinement" month, but just regular food we could all enjoy together. One has only this much energy before I'm running on empty. I'm not some super woman.



Then, listening to the old Christian song "Nothing but the blood of Jesus" whilst driving to school to fetch the boys, my eyes filled with tears, touched by how much our Heavenly Father has done for us. And yet, there I was, getting upset with the husband, over the housewifey and motherly duties expected of me.

I thought also, about what my own dad told me before Kaitlyn's arrival -- to not worry, but be happy, for it's important to stay positive! And there is indeed so much to rejoice, so much to be thankful for!

So with that, it's on a cheery note I'll like to end this post...

Jon trying to get a smile out from Kaitlyn...

... and she has started smiling, except I've not been quick enough to grab the camera to capture a shot of it!

And now, don't babies all like to look at faces... monkey faces included? ;p

Wishing you a happy, and worry-free weekend!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true,

whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable— if anything

is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

~ Philippians 4:8

Adjusting... and family matters

Parenting is a lesson in adjusting
... comes the reminder from a parenting newsletter, to my in-box this week, as Kaitlyn turns 2 weeks old yesterday. And it adds, too, "...don't get too comfortable; your baby will continue to surprise you with new developments and changes to keep you on your toes."

Now what it didn't say, to second- or third-time parents like me, is that besides the baby, the older children are also the ones to keep us on our toes!

Kaitlyn is our third child, yes, and some things (about babies) we've been through before with Jon and Ben. Like the "nocturnal" phase, that we just have to bear with it for awhile more, but yes, I'm pooped!

Things around the house are also more routine, like, cooking and doing laundry, these being lighter chores I've gone back to do as soon as I could, and where we can cut corners, we do, if not put on hold. Bringing home baby, we've been blessed, too, by families from our church who provided us with a week of dinner, under a service to help parents with newborns adjust to the new routines.

The biggest challenge is, how can we meet every child's needs, when not just the baby is the only one crying out for attention?

The boys have been more prone to meltdowns and tantrums especially since school started, and we've had many a crazier-than-crazy moment! And if not at least one boy who's going "Waaa!" instead of using words, then, the other is choosing to have selective hearing and shoots back with, "Can't hear you!"!

At this time, we can't be more grateful that we had help from my sis at first, and then, now after she left, my MIL is here. Before that, I was really concerned over how we have so many more disorganized messes than organized messes around the house, and all are messes... yikes! But if all I focused on was how to straighten out our place, then I would have missed out on the whole point of spending precious time with our loved ones.

It is such a luxury having family visit us in a home away from home!
My sis and I both cried when she left to go back to Singapore at the end of the first week. My MIL, too, or "Nana" as our children call her, has travelled a long way, to come dote on Jon, Ben, and Kaitlyn, not just to be here for Vern and me.

Earlier, celebrating Vern's birthday...
Besides Daddy's little girl, the daddy himself is also an August child!

Vern's mom arrived the same evening he turned a year older, just in time to sit down with us for a simple homecooked meal, and the birthday cake that was the surprise...


When Vern was getting the boys ready to fetch Nana from the airport, the craziest idea seized me when I had just enough time to scrounge our pantry for a boxed cakemix -- to whip up simply, and leave it to bake at the same time the chicken was being cooked in the oven.

And good girl Kaitlyn, she took a cat nap right after the cake was done! So I didn't have to try and frost the cake using one hand, and managed to stow it away just before the guys and Nana got back!

Can you spot the heart, as Stardust may ask, in this little gesture on my part to celebrate the husband's special day? =)

Happy Birthday to the super wonderful daddy Vern is!


And day by day, step by step, we're adjusting... slowly but (I pray) surely... to being a 3-kid family!

Bringing home baby

The first days of bringing home baby are both exhausting and exciting at the same time!

Kaitlyn has her day mixed up with night, and quite the pair of lungs. In the otherwise still darkness, her eyes are wide open. By the crack of dawn, I'm hunched over and panda-eyed from all that nursing and poopy diaper changing, and carrying and patting, trying to soothe the fussing babe.

In their enthusiasm, Jon and Ben fight over who'll get to carry Kaitlyn. And it's not a pretty sight whenever this ends up in crying bouts and tantrums.

Neither do their blatant disobedience, and their roughhousing (when more than once, they fall "splat" on the wood floor, and land one on top of the other... OUCH!!!) go down well with me. Especially in my sleep-deprived state, once the adrenaline's worn off, and I, too, have my crazy moments =(.

Vern has been really wonderful, and bears with it all. Balancing his schoolwork alongside his fatherly duties, being there for the boys and spending time with his little princess, of course!

No, it's not easy to juggle every one's needs. Our hands have never been so full! But while boys will be boys, and they won't stop their boisterous ways because there's a baby girl in the home, Kaitlyn does have a way of bringing out the gentle side of our three guys...

I like how Vern speaks to Kaitlyn in a gentle voice, and the best moments for me this first week must be watching Jon and Ben begin to bond with Kaitlyn in their own ways...



Praise God, we've made it through the first week!
There is much to be grateful for, and you've all been oh so sweet with your well-wishes and kind words, and thank you for keeping us in prayer! Your reminder for me to take care of myself, was also what my sister said to me when she arrived and saw me indulging the guys. And now, I have one more new love to dote on!

My sis leaves tomorrow, she's been such a blessing, being there for us more than we can ask for.

And there, we finally got Aunty G to carry baby Kaitlyn also, not just bond with Ben and Jon...

Yesterday, Kaitlyn had to make a return trip to the doctor's for a second bilirubin test. Thankfully, the jaundice (typical in breastfed babies) is within reasonable levels.

I hope this has been a fruitful visit for my sis. And I don't mean the hands-on experience of "days in the life of this at-home mom" for her. Or the good buys she snagged in the pockets of shopping time here and there, though we all know retail therapy helps! But most of all, warm memories to take home with her, of this time of bonding with us =).

P.S. Sorry I'm not able to respond to your comments individually. But if you're still curious...
- This is my elder sis. It's OK if you think I'm the more (ahem!) senior one ;p
- I did get to enjoy the epidural for 20 minutes, even though the contractions were already 2 mins apart by then, and pretty unbearable!
- Glasses can work wonders to hide dark circles and eye bags! =)

Have a wonderful weekend coming up! God bless!

One week to EDD!

Counting down to my expected due date now! And my sister -- can you guess elder, or younger? ;p (I have two sisters; I'm a middle child) -- has come from almost halfway across the globe!

And while it's still easier for me, than with a newborn afterwards, to show her around a bit before she'll head back home in a couple of weeks, we took her shopping! The one thing Singaporean gals can't say no to!

At first, it was just Ben and me, whilst Jon was at a chess programme in school. Then, all of us, even though kids, and especially my boys, aren't the most patient shoppers.

Still, I think walking the mall helped some to get their aunt out of her jet lag. And while we were at it, and before the high heat index is now making her feel under the weather, it was the Gateway Arch that we couldn't not let her must-see here in St Louis! Vern is right, shouldn't sightseeing come before shopping?

Left: A kind stranger lay his back on the ground, just so he could capture the top of the Arch, in this group shot he helped us take!

Yesterday, I also gave my sister a crash course on some simple meals -- mostly the noodle soup kind -- that she can fix for the boys while I am in the hospital. It's been awhile since she's cooked. But she'll do fine, I know!

And I'm just relieved, now that she's here and the baby not arrived yet, she can be the one to babysit the boys when it's time for Vern to lend me all the support I need in the delivery room!

That has been a big worry of mine, as it'll be such a huge imposition on friends if we have to call them in the middle of the night should labour strike at an odd time of the day. We were contemplating packing the boys off with us, to go along to the hospital!

To digress a little, in response to queries on what I cook on a daily basis (and because I don't know when I'll blog my next post), here's what I served up for our dinner these last few days.....



And as you can see, cooking a different protein each day is the trick behind my simple meal-planning. If not meat, then fish... like yesterday, I did a simple baked tilapia with winter melon soup to go along (not photoed). And today, we're back to chicken again, my all-time favourite meat to cook, for how versatile it is, and usually goes down best with the kids! Not that they eat everything I dish out though.


This is the first time I'm seeing my sis again after coming here...
And she is also seeing me as the at-home mom that I am for four years now. My hands full with the chores and children, and the driving here and there that wasn't quite up my alley last time. No longer am I the working mom I'd left off as, with domestic help back home and loved ones living near enough we could rely on whenever we needed a hand.

This is the key challenge - the trying to "baokahliao" (take care of everything) between the husband and wife -- in a home away from home. I never said it's easy, and it's true I'm perpetually on my feet (still am!) until the kids fall asleep, and there will still be stuff around the house, like in most homes, that need attention.

But if you see how hard it is for the husband to get his schoolwork done once home, or ask any family in our shoes, as the wife you will also want to get as much of the housework and errands done as possible.

I may have gained some independence as a result of coming here, and through practice, got a better hang of things I either had help doing or didn't need to do before. And not that I'm on top of them, there's still plenty of room for improvement, like the more organized home that eludes me, and kids we want to see better behaved. There's always much to do, more I'd like to do, but so little time!

Nevertheless, and very importantly, there are basic things that I must not take for granted, and lots to be thankful for. The grace of God that takes us from day to day. And the nice and kind people He brings across our path, including those of you I've been blessed to know through blogging, besides our loved ones and dear old friends back home.

After my sis goes off, my MIL will also be coming. Now I appreciate it very much that they are putting aside their own commitments to help us transit into this next phase of our lives. At the same time, I feel bad they are coming all the way here, yet I can't be all the host I like, not to have to bother them with the daily grind.

That's the reason why I've been hoping that the lil one will come sooner rather than later, so that prayerfully, I won't be "out of commission" for too long, but be able to quickly get back into the swing of things. Because there's going to be even more to take care of, and the husband's schedule not getting any lighter.

Will you pray with me, please, that we will be able to cope nicely? Thanks so much!

OK, that's the latest longwinded update from me, in lieu of shorter, more regular posts that I should be doing if I were more blog-savvy, hehe! But better a post, than none, no? ;p

A blessed week ahead, to one and all reading this! =)

Stop and Gaze

Feels like we've moved house...
taking apart the place at first, then, putting together room after room after the painting was done.

We're almost there, *wipes brow*... yay! Also, still taking the opportunity to springclean some, and declutter what we can, given how much mess we have accumulated, more than you want to know!

Amidst all this, it was nice when I got to take a breather -- for a ladies' night out on Friday! My first in four years! It was also the first time four of us wives got together like this.

Hanging out over dinner...
at a cafe, you can guess our conversation never steered far away from our husbands and the kids.

And afterwards, at the art museum to view quilts dating back to the 1700's, we marvelled at the intricate handiwork and how much it must have taken our counterparts then to put together. The labour of love behind each sewn, embroideried, or appliqued masterpiece!

One of us quipped that probably quilting was what brought women and wives together in those days, the way Facebook is doing the same now! Perhaps I should have added, blogging, also! ;p

Of course, great as modern networking means are, and a wonderful blogging world this is, still, nothing beats meeting face-to-face! Don't you think so, too?

I'm glad I kept the date with these dear ladies. Almost didn't, what with still more house to clean and put back together, than the good husband had managed in the time I was keeping the boys occupied outside, and out of the way, with school-related and other activities before the week ended.

"Go," Vern had urged me, "Go for the fellowship", and he couldn't have been more right. We were both exhausted, no doubt; the cleaning could wait, and the chores would always be there. But how often can friends meet up, how often can I pull myself away from the kids?



It worked out quite well, too, when he and the husband of another woman in the group, eventually took our boys and their girls out on a playdate, at the same time the "dissertation wives' night out" was going on! Special time with daddy, the children always love that! =)

And into the third trimester...
the li'l one is finally not so erm bashful.

Now tell me, especially those of you who have boys and girls, or brothers and sisters, is it going to be "more" starting from scratch for Vern and me? Beyond just the diaper changes, sleepless nights, and round-the-clock nursing I'm bracing myself for, that we'd left behind quite awhile ago?


Like these red roses and other May flowers that the April showers brought, indoors too, our walls have been given a fresh lease of life with more colour here and there!

In the meantime, many thanks for your birthday wishes for Ben! Will love to catch up with you as soon as I can.

You have a wonderful week now!

Zooooom!

Three weeks have come and gone, and my father is on his way back to Singapore, right now as I blog!

In some ways, it was a vacation for him, and for us, too. Going places, and revisiting the one or two attractions he likes!

But it was definitely more than just a vacation. It was a time of bonding, and rebonding.


We miss him already. Jon wanted Gong Gong to come and visit us again next month, and better yet, Ben asked, why not "tomorrow?"!


For Gong Gong, like he did two years ago, coming to stay with us albeit for just three weeks, he saw all our good days and bad, and not just our house at its messiest, but also whether every one was getting along fine or not so well! Also how much prodding Jon needed to sit down to some reading and writing, and how Ben, Fashion Maven #2 in the making, could take up to one hour to pick his outfit for the day.

Most of all, my father couldn't have not noticed how much the boys have grown! Why, I am amazed myself, every time I look back and wonder, wasn't it not too long ago, when I did this and that for Jon? And now, Ben's wearing the shirts and pants that Jon was wearing when we first got here, and Ben is riding Jon's bike, and pretty soon (not too quickly, I hope), he's going to be like his big brother and tell me to stop showing him any sign of affection in front of his friends!

Why do I blog? As a way of storing up precious memories like these, and that's also why I take tons of pictures, and no excuse not to what with the convenience of a digital camera! Before, on my old blog, I didn't show any images to begin with, but as time went by, I realised pictures can speak more than words, and there are memories captured in them that I want to treasure always. So once I started over there, it's been no end to my posting pictures since!

And for that same reason, I couldn't not let my Pa take back with him an album of the photos taken with us these last few weeks, never mind that the prints were just simply arranged in chronological order. Of all of the shots, this one's my favourite of him and the boys!