Cheng Teng for the soul

What do you say to the hubby when he offers to buy you ANOTHER laundry basket to catch those ever overflowing clothes, even though you're already doing one load every day?

What about to the children, when you ask them to lay the table, and to pick up their toys, and they answer back, "But that's what you do, mommy!"?!!

Tell me, I have not spoilt them...*breathe in* *breathe out*!

I grabbed some lovely but seldom available gingko nuts, fresh and vacuum-sealed from the refrigerated section of the Asian grocery store. Same trip, always with Kait in tow, I had 15 min to "breeze" in and out to buy a sack of rice and everything else, on the way to drive Ben home from school, Jon was ending later, and in-between, Kait would need to nurse.

Then, whilst preparing dinner, I popped the gingko nuts into the slow cooker with whatever ingredients might work for this nice big pot of "cheng teng". In this case, pre-soaked white fungus, and longan and red dates (oh, never mind already I didn't make tea with them earlier). The rock sugar I forgot, and substituted with brown sugar.

Cheng teng, good old cheng teng! It worked well for a rare supper that night, and Vern liked it chilled for dessert the next day. As for Jon and Ben, they are big longan fans.

There are other food and dessert you can use gingko nuts with, but I chose cheng teng because it is my favourite hawker centre dessert. As a little girl, I'd gladly have it nine out of 10 times when my father would take the family to eat fishball noodles, my other comfort food!

But now, to the husband's kind offer of the laundry basket, I had to tell him, "Thanks, but no thanks,". Figuring it's still better for me to conquer the mountain loads one at a time.

One load, one day at a time, that's always more manageable!

P.S. This post does not diminish how much I appreciate the husband's help with the children and as and when he can with the chores that (oh well) are more all in a day's work for me the HOUSE-wife. But my guess is he's not alone in being the practical husband, coming up with pragmatic solutions when he can't be there to help. No?

The way to a man's heart...

... is the stomach. Or is it the heart itself?

Food talks...

Above: Ben holds up a "talking" pear, and Jon wants a "byte" too!

Heart to heart...
The bond between father and child is a special, precious one. So is the relationship our Abba Father desires of us; the bible tells us to "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4).

Vern is busy with bread and butter issues made more challenging by the current economic situation. He's looking for the job that can feed the family, but it's my prayer also for the path that opens up be to his heart's desire as well.

The toughest part is not over, and the coming weeks and months before any changes ahead will continue to be stressful ones. I'm trying not to overly worry, meanwhile, doing my part to place food -- the edible kind -- on our table!

Left: Grilled chicken is a favourite with the boys. I used curry powder, salt, and sugar for this version.

And look who else I'm preparing food for (more pictures in the previous post, decided not to lump everything here)! She's not eating much to be filled up yet, but enough to know fruits are yummier than veggies already.

And with the crawling that's started also, I'm more than a bit busier! But please don't ask me if she's sleeping through the night... what's that?!


I've lost count of how many more times she's waking up now. Naps wise, it's already down to one in the morning that hopefully will last longer than 30 minutes, and the second one is when she goes with me to drive the boys home from school! Where'd she get so much energy?


At almost 6.5 months now, Kait has grown a bit more since these pictures taken before the six-month mark. The latest in addition to the crawling is, she likes to pull herself from the sitting upright to standing position if you'll let her hold your hands!

Snow Bright

Before it melted away... I paused to take in the snow, the other morning after driving Jon and Ben to school, and making the quick grocery stop when Vern could stay home and watch Kait for a bit.



I'm a mother, not a martyr, and while the baby and I are joined at the hip, it does help me in this winter weather especially, if I don't have to take her and the boys grocery shopping. There is A LOT to buy even for a week's worth, and trust me, it is easier and faster than with the brood!

But now, I really like how the snow glistens in the sun. Doesn't it paint a brighter picture than just mostly bald trees around?

The snow was good while it lasted.

And the stopping to gaze is good, always good!

Joy it on*

It's that special time of year, when like many of you, I don't mind being caught up trying to spread a little cheer around!


But now, even without the busyness of the season, the real frustrations of everyday life (in our home, think screaming kids AND screaming mom, especially when the boys are crying louder than the baby... oh no, not again!) have a way of crowding out those precious moments in our lives.

But joy happens, it's there -- the sweet and funny moments (thank God!), and I like that blogging helps me pause and reflect on our blessings big and small.

Me to Vern: Hey, why you so glum?

Vern to me (makes funny face): Like that better?!

And Ben gets a kick out of the silliness!

Just yesterday, I got to bask in one non-fighting moment, when Ben was overheard telling Jon, "Because I like you!". It was his response to big brother Jon's question of why Ben was always going along with Jon's choice of things. Aw, that's such music to my ears!

And Kait, too, with her squeals of delight, in the middle of sitting there in my lap during Jon's homework time. It had us looking forward to more -- the giggles and chuckles, not so the homework that was going beyond bedtime. But we'll just have to wait for when Kait is in her next laughing mood, to be tickled again!

Just past the 4th month mark now, she is learning to sit up, and likes to bend forward, trying to eat her toes! For me, my goal to reach for her is still, lesser middle-of-the-night feeds. Have not stopped trying to have some routine for her, but naps are especially challenging with energetic boys tearing through the house, and surely that has an effect on her sleep at night.

Jon and Ben had two concerts in one weekend. The same boy (guess who?!) who feigned sick trying to get out of the first concert, tripped and fell splat on his face for the other... yikes! Good thing he was alright!

Above: Boys dressed up, it's their first time participating in the Chinese school concert.

Below: Joyful, joyful we adore Thee...

Groups of children, and Ben's first time, joining their voices in praise and worship of God, and His greatest gift of love -- Jesus is the reason for the season.

About a week ago, Vern and I also crossed our 11th year as husband and wife. No, we are NOT so young anymore -- and not-so-fine lines are as unforgiving as eyebags and dark circles. And yes, in some ways, we are still as opposite as black and white. Nonetheless, always so grateful there's each other to have and to hold, and for the gift of our children.

Besides our friends here, and loved ones back home, Christmas is also when I think of our faraway friends, and where we can, it's always nice to be able to get more than e-greetings across the miles to them. I'm thankful, too, for those of you whom blogging has wonderfully caused our paths to cross!

Stay tuned... I'll be back with our "official" season's greetings. This one's not quite it, partly because my guess is, not many people read my lengthy posts, haha!

Meanwhile, you keep doing what you do to pass on that joy, yah!

Shortcut sugar cookies waiting to be frosted, made from storebought cakemix that doesn't take the joy out of baking...

... And it's especially useful because Kait goes down for just 20 minutes or less. My problem is, how to help her stay napped for longer, as the more she cries, the more it gets her out of nap mode. The doctor says it could well be due to the "subsequent child syndrome" -- as I call it, because Ben was like this, too. The baby's schedule revolves around the older siblings', and all their noise, too!

Jon holds a card he made, with glitter on it, for his teacher. Ben, more the cookie person than Jon, can't wait to dig in!


* "Joy it on" is the catchphrase of Planet Joyride's founder, I chanced on in a parenting magazine. It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Homework, homework

Jon does a book report, and Ben goes to work on one, too!

I like that!

Helps keep Ben out of mischief. Also, when Jon sees younger brother hard at work, it's a bit hard for him not to be working either... 'coz Ben's snapping up the toy soldiers fast!

It's not cool though, when they fight tooth and nail over that last maimed soldier whose arm had accidentally come off!

But now you know why I cherish the saner homework moments! Heh!

Above: Jon's diorama for that soldier's journal he chose to do for this month's book report on historical fiction.

Below: Earlier, Jon working on his book jacket for a mystery book report. Ben's vampire version is on the right!

From leaves to snow

Each day rolls so quickly into the next, the crisp autumn air has given way to the colder weather now.

And before the last leaves have fallen, the first snow has arrived!

Below: Same spot last month...
... when the leaves were falling like crazy, and Vern, with a little help from the boys, had raked them into this big heap!

And yes, this is the kind of "work" Jon's happy to be buried in!

Jon's style -- to do as little as possible in the looooooongest time, is the opposite of mine. So you can imagine the power struggles between us, whenever he drags his feet with even the simplest homework! *sigh*

But this is one of those things, like the other familiar stuff that if he and Ben can just do it without having to put up a fight first, it'll reduce everyone's stress trying to get our act together every day.

Also, because at 3+ months old, Kait is still not napping well, crying to be carried the moment I lay her down, and come bedtime, hasn't stopped me guessing if the last feed will really be the one that'll give us that much coveted one stretch of 3h sleep.

Very pooped, and I may not figure this baby sleep thing out (*waaaaaah!!!*), but do look forward to when these "dark(er)" nights and days will pass! Meanwhile, trying not to overwhelm myself by keeping to the basics more than ever now.

My latest tools of the trade aka sanity aids include:

- A baby carrier...
A lookalike of the ergo one, but at a third of the price, it's not bad. It spreads out the weight better than the sling, and still frees my hands for quick chores and errands, carrying Kait around. I call her my lil 'Roo now!

- Reward charts...
For lack of a better idea, and do share if you have alternatives, we're back to using these to encourage Jon and Ben to do those really basic things expected of them. Such as our morning, afterschool, and bedtime routines, that it shouldn't have to take having baby Kait to realise they haven't grasped =(.

and

- A slow cooker!
Such one-pot wonders do help me get one thing out of the way, with Vern needing to work late more often now. After going with Kait to drive Jon and Ben back, our seemingly straightforward afterschool homework-dinner-bath-bedtime whole works is especially challenging when the boys aren't cooperative, and the baby is wailing for my attention all at the same time.

Left: Our simple turkey breast dinner on Thanksgiving Day. It was my birthday and we'd eaten out the day before. So I made this slow-cooked version (click here for the recipe), with a bit of tweaking based on the reviewers' suggestions. Works well, and especially if you don't need to roast a whole bird in the oven.

Right, and below: Vern, Kait, and I got to join Ben and his classmates and their families, too, for a nice Thanksgiving feast in school.

Thanksgiving Day was a timely reminder for me not to let these rough post-baby moments, and the boys' testing of limits, get in the way of my counting our blessings. And every extra thing we manage each day, by God's grace, is a bonus!

Thank you, old and new friends for your support, and also for reminding me that giving thanks should not be restricted to the thanksgiving season, and that we shouldn't lose sight of the stuff that really matters!

And you know, while my children are still young, I am aware that the baby years, and that precious children's innocence, do go by as fast as the changing of the seasons. Already, celebrating Jon's birthday last month -- back up one post for my belated entry, he tells me his latest ambition is to be a teen!

P.S. Me sitting here doesn't mean I'm on top of things. Far from it! Doing as much as I can, but among other things, there's clutter and more clutter, and clothes and more clothes to iron since Kait's birth that I have not got round to, and meanwhile, ironing them on an entirely needs-basis only. Where got time, not to mention the energy?! I'm neither the Energizer bunny nor Iron Man. And no kidding when I say there's a lot more mess than for what a neatnik I am NOT, I can ordinarily take =(.

But that's the only way. And blogging sparingly, though always love to keep in touch -- because it helps KEEP ME SANE!

One week to EDD!

Counting down to my expected due date now! And my sister -- can you guess elder, or younger? ;p (I have two sisters; I'm a middle child) -- has come from almost halfway across the globe!

And while it's still easier for me, than with a newborn afterwards, to show her around a bit before she'll head back home in a couple of weeks, we took her shopping! The one thing Singaporean gals can't say no to!

At first, it was just Ben and me, whilst Jon was at a chess programme in school. Then, all of us, even though kids, and especially my boys, aren't the most patient shoppers.

Still, I think walking the mall helped some to get their aunt out of her jet lag. And while we were at it, and before the high heat index is now making her feel under the weather, it was the Gateway Arch that we couldn't not let her must-see here in St Louis! Vern is right, shouldn't sightseeing come before shopping?

Left: A kind stranger lay his back on the ground, just so he could capture the top of the Arch, in this group shot he helped us take!

Yesterday, I also gave my sister a crash course on some simple meals -- mostly the noodle soup kind -- that she can fix for the boys while I am in the hospital. It's been awhile since she's cooked. But she'll do fine, I know!

And I'm just relieved, now that she's here and the baby not arrived yet, she can be the one to babysit the boys when it's time for Vern to lend me all the support I need in the delivery room!

That has been a big worry of mine, as it'll be such a huge imposition on friends if we have to call them in the middle of the night should labour strike at an odd time of the day. We were contemplating packing the boys off with us, to go along to the hospital!

To digress a little, in response to queries on what I cook on a daily basis (and because I don't know when I'll blog my next post), here's what I served up for our dinner these last few days.....



And as you can see, cooking a different protein each day is the trick behind my simple meal-planning. If not meat, then fish... like yesterday, I did a simple baked tilapia with winter melon soup to go along (not photoed). And today, we're back to chicken again, my all-time favourite meat to cook, for how versatile it is, and usually goes down best with the kids! Not that they eat everything I dish out though.


This is the first time I'm seeing my sis again after coming here...
And she is also seeing me as the at-home mom that I am for four years now. My hands full with the chores and children, and the driving here and there that wasn't quite up my alley last time. No longer am I the working mom I'd left off as, with domestic help back home and loved ones living near enough we could rely on whenever we needed a hand.

This is the key challenge - the trying to "baokahliao" (take care of everything) between the husband and wife -- in a home away from home. I never said it's easy, and it's true I'm perpetually on my feet (still am!) until the kids fall asleep, and there will still be stuff around the house, like in most homes, that need attention.

But if you see how hard it is for the husband to get his schoolwork done once home, or ask any family in our shoes, as the wife you will also want to get as much of the housework and errands done as possible.

I may have gained some independence as a result of coming here, and through practice, got a better hang of things I either had help doing or didn't need to do before. And not that I'm on top of them, there's still plenty of room for improvement, like the more organized home that eludes me, and kids we want to see better behaved. There's always much to do, more I'd like to do, but so little time!

Nevertheless, and very importantly, there are basic things that I must not take for granted, and lots to be thankful for. The grace of God that takes us from day to day. And the nice and kind people He brings across our path, including those of you I've been blessed to know through blogging, besides our loved ones and dear old friends back home.

After my sis goes off, my MIL will also be coming. Now I appreciate it very much that they are putting aside their own commitments to help us transit into this next phase of our lives. At the same time, I feel bad they are coming all the way here, yet I can't be all the host I like, not to have to bother them with the daily grind.

That's the reason why I've been hoping that the lil one will come sooner rather than later, so that prayerfully, I won't be "out of commission" for too long, but be able to quickly get back into the swing of things. Because there's going to be even more to take care of, and the husband's schedule not getting any lighter.

Will you pray with me, please, that we will be able to cope nicely? Thanks so much!

OK, that's the latest longwinded update from me, in lieu of shorter, more regular posts that I should be doing if I were more blog-savvy, hehe! But better a post, than none, no? ;p

A blessed week ahead, to one and all reading this! =)