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In two weeks when Ben starts school for the first time, I will have 2.5 hours for three times a week, all to myself! I don't know if I will be the more anxious one of us two over the initial separation, or if I'll feel lost momentarily, since he practically goes everywhere I go.
But before school starts, friends who know that this is going to be the longest block of time I will have for awhile now -- since I was never good with putting Ben down for a nap even while he was a baby and needing to be nursed as often as 1.5 to 2 hours, and he gave up napping too early, too soon -- are curious to hear how (wisely) I am going to use it.
One suggested that I should try and volunteer my time in a "big" way, that the little bit I'm currently helping out in our church (only once a month) amounts to nothing. Yes, one way is I could go ask the school principal and teachers if they could use my help.
Or I could head back home after dropping off the boys and their daddy, to get some chores out of the way, prepare food, go shop for food, etc. Or better yet, do something about our ever-growing messes around the house, that isn't the easiest thing to tackle with the boys around, and the last thing I want to do at the end of a long day.
Or I can do some writing, not just blog, or some other creative project, that I sometimes dream of doing, but haven't got round to, because whenever the boys go to bed and after some must-do chore, I just surf the net, blog, read, or watch some latenight show, even though I should hit the sack myself.
Or I can try and go through all our many photos and come up with some sensible archiving system because those in Flickr right now are but a portion. And it would be nice too, if I can get round to shortlisting which ones to print out, and put together, should somehow the digital images die on us one day.
My husband thinks I should just stay out, because all that driving to and fro, back and forth (and Ben will end earlier -- before Jon, and Jon, before Vern), is going to er "kill" me. I'm thinking the library (to sit down and read), or the museums without kids to run after and tote around! Now isn't that a lot more tempting, than just staying home doing the things I already do all the time?
But really, there's no shortage of ideas for what I can do. And you will have good suggestions for me, too, I bet!
However, now, as I'm finishing up on the book by Keri Wyatt Kent, "God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos", that I had randomly picked out from our church library many Sundays ago, there's one thing in particular that she wrote, among several others that speak to me, that's causing me to pause and think about what I'm doing with my time.
She asked, (and I'm paraphrasing it), why is that whenever we have a pocket of time (no matter how small it is), we must jump at filling it up, to do this and that, when what we really need is to retreat to solitude?
To sit back and relax, to be still and know that He is God. To pray, to read the bible, and let God speak to us. And simply let it be a time of us and Him only.
Yes, the Quiet Time as I knew it. It has been awhile. A long while.
Mothering small children and keeping house, means the closest I get to practising the presence of God in my own busy and can-be-very-crazy day, is at best, calling out for His help in my desperate moments when the kids are not behaving themselves, when they are fighting with each other day in day out, and I am like what the author herself said, "at the end of my rope". Or at worst, limited to a simple grace we say at mealtimes. And slightly better, if we don't forget that quick prayer with the boys at bedtime!
But aside from these little ways, when there's a chance for a break, can I walk away (briefly) from the messes and chaos that's typical of any mom's life, and allow myself to connect with God (not just with my dear friends in blogosphere, and elsewhere in the world)?
Another friend asked why not I just use the time when Ben is away in school, to be a time of 'forced rest'? How many of us moms are not tired, with young children we wish we have more energy to keep up with?
And if I don't go to the Source to be replenished, to let the joy of the Lord be my strength, it's risky business running on empty, like an accident waiting to happen.
When I was in the doldrums not too long ago, I felt some of you giving me a pep talk of sorts, probably because I wasn't (and still isn't) the supermom you expected me to be. But I'm really just human through and through. Those who knew, told me to take care of myself, to nourish my soul, and find rest and peace in God.
"Don't forget to take care of yourself", was also the very advice a friend ended her email to me, and I told her the same too, when we were both caught up in our own whirlwind of activities, and knowing how exhausted each other must be.
It's true. If we don't take care of ourselves, how can we expect to do a good job taking care of others?
Have you been taking care of yourself lately?
Right now, 'forced rest' sounds really appealing to me! And if you must know, I have no grand plans of how to spend the bonus time coming up! I think I will just take it one day at a time, and it will be good for me to get back to basics and do some soul cleaning.
"Solitude is difficult because we must sacrifice our to-do list in order to make time for it... The joyful paradox in making time for solitude is that it slows us down enough to help us realize which things on our list are actually worth doing, and we end up with more time to do the few things that truly matter."
But before school starts, friends who know that this is going to be the longest block of time I will have for awhile now -- since I was never good with putting Ben down for a nap even while he was a baby and needing to be nursed as often as 1.5 to 2 hours, and he gave up napping too early, too soon -- are curious to hear how (wisely) I am going to use it.
One suggested that I should try and volunteer my time in a "big" way, that the little bit I'm currently helping out in our church (only once a month) amounts to nothing. Yes, one way is I could go ask the school principal and teachers if they could use my help.
Or I could head back home after dropping off the boys and their daddy, to get some chores out of the way, prepare food, go shop for food, etc. Or better yet, do something about our ever-growing messes around the house, that isn't the easiest thing to tackle with the boys around, and the last thing I want to do at the end of a long day.
Or I can do some writing, not just blog, or some other creative project, that I sometimes dream of doing, but haven't got round to, because whenever the boys go to bed and after some must-do chore, I just surf the net, blog, read, or watch some latenight show, even though I should hit the sack myself.
Or I can try and go through all our many photos and come up with some sensible archiving system because those in Flickr right now are but a portion. And it would be nice too, if I can get round to shortlisting which ones to print out, and put together, should somehow the digital images die on us one day.
My husband thinks I should just stay out, because all that driving to and fro, back and forth (and Ben will end earlier -- before Jon, and Jon, before Vern), is going to er "kill" me. I'm thinking the library (to sit down and read), or the museums without kids to run after and tote around! Now isn't that a lot more tempting, than just staying home doing the things I already do all the time?
But really, there's no shortage of ideas for what I can do. And you will have good suggestions for me, too, I bet!
However, now, as I'm finishing up on the book by Keri Wyatt Kent, "God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos", that I had randomly picked out from our church library many Sundays ago, there's one thing in particular that she wrote, among several others that speak to me, that's causing me to pause and think about what I'm doing with my time.
She asked, (and I'm paraphrasing it), why is that whenever we have a pocket of time (no matter how small it is), we must jump at filling it up, to do this and that, when what we really need is to retreat to solitude?
To sit back and relax, to be still and know that He is God. To pray, to read the bible, and let God speak to us. And simply let it be a time of us and Him only.
Yes, the Quiet Time as I knew it. It has been awhile. A long while.
Mothering small children and keeping house, means the closest I get to practising the presence of God in my own busy and can-be-very-crazy day, is at best, calling out for His help in my desperate moments when the kids are not behaving themselves, when they are fighting with each other day in day out, and I am like what the author herself said, "at the end of my rope". Or at worst, limited to a simple grace we say at mealtimes. And slightly better, if we don't forget that quick prayer with the boys at bedtime!
But aside from these little ways, when there's a chance for a break, can I walk away (briefly) from the messes and chaos that's typical of any mom's life, and allow myself to connect with God (not just with my dear friends in blogosphere, and elsewhere in the world)?
Another friend asked why not I just use the time when Ben is away in school, to be a time of 'forced rest'? How many of us moms are not tired, with young children we wish we have more energy to keep up with?
And if I don't go to the Source to be replenished, to let the joy of the Lord be my strength, it's risky business running on empty, like an accident waiting to happen.
When I was in the doldrums not too long ago, I felt some of you giving me a pep talk of sorts, probably because I wasn't (and still isn't) the supermom you expected me to be. But I'm really just human through and through. Those who knew, told me to take care of myself, to nourish my soul, and find rest and peace in God.
"Don't forget to take care of yourself", was also the very advice a friend ended her email to me, and I told her the same too, when we were both caught up in our own whirlwind of activities, and knowing how exhausted each other must be.
It's true. If we don't take care of ourselves, how can we expect to do a good job taking care of others?
Have you been taking care of yourself lately?
Right now, 'forced rest' sounds really appealing to me! And if you must know, I have no grand plans of how to spend the bonus time coming up! I think I will just take it one day at a time, and it will be good for me to get back to basics and do some soul cleaning.
"Solitude is difficult because we must sacrifice our to-do list in order to make time for it... The joyful paradox in making time for solitude is that it slows us down enough to help us realize which things on our list are actually worth doing, and we end up with more time to do the few things that truly matter."
- Keri Wyatt Kent, in "God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos"
10 comments:
Heh, I highly recommend 'forced rest'. I think I take too much of it! ;p
Haha... yes, I'm steering towards that already!
Yes yes, forced rest! Quiet time! AFterall the housework will always be there :) I need to practice more forced rest too.
Priscilla,
Go for it! =)
bp, I have no problem with relaxing when I want to. I can close an eye to mess but then there are days, I feel like cleaning, I will spend hours cleaning my kids' rooms.
What I do find difficult is spending more time with God....:( Any advice?
I need that 'forced rest' too! I think I'm one who can't keep myself free or rest whenever time permits.
Judy,
Haha, know what you mean... some days the cleaning 'bug' gets to me more than others and all I want to do is clean, clean, clean. But no matter how I clean, the clutter all just comes back within the same day. So I try and close both eyes... hehe!
The book I quoted had mentioned several ways of making time for God, which you may already be doing... like waking up just 5 min earlier in the morning to thank Him for a few things in our lives, and then set aside some time again at the end of the day to do the same, and keeping a journal to track these, was another suggestion. Also while driving, we can play some Christian music and turn that into a praise and worship time. I also like the author's other suggestion of placing verses in the kitchen or anywhere else in the house, so that when we look at them while we do the dishes for example, they can be a reminder for us to say a prayer or give thanks! So to some extent, we can be practising living in His presence -- when He's a part of whatever we do, and when we remember that even for the most mundane of tasks, we are doing unto Him!
Easier said than done, because there are way too many distractions, but the book was a timely reminder for me! =)
Charlene,
Yes, take a break now and then! =)
Not bek yet but just visiting to see how you are doing :) I remember my son's very first day of school, oso 2.5 hours, let me tell you honestly it was the longest 2.5 hours of my life. I remember dropping him off then went to Walmart. Walk and walk and walk for what seemed like an eternity - look at watch aiks oni 15 minutes pass nia.
One more thing, take it from a mom whose done it, VOLUNTEER!!!! because it really makes a difference how the teacher treats your son.
Firehorse,
I am so happy to hear from you! Thanks for the advice... I haven't got a chance to speak to the school, and see how I do with the full-time driving. But you're right, I'm not used to sitting still for very long, and there's just so much Walmart and Target anyone can do. Haha!
You take care now, I am reading Penang Boy on your kopitiam, and look forward to catching you there again soon! =)
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