School starts

A week ago now, school started...

with Jon in second grade...


... and Ben, doing for the very first time, half-day sessions three times a week in 3K.


Excited I was, like them, over the first day of school! And they, like me, were also anxious, and somewhat overwhelmed. Already on the eve, which was classroom preview day, Ben gave the teachers more than a sneak peak of how bad his separation anxiety was, and Jon realised from all the textbooks piled high on his desk, how much more work to expect!

For first-timer Ben, even though he fell asleep late, he was the first to rise at 6am. He asked me for omelete and French toast for breakfast, and boy, was he raring to go! He carried his own backpack, and remembered where to hang it outside the classroom, just like the teacher had shown him.


Praise God, Ben went on to do wonderfully, and every day since, has been looking forward to school! The only time, after that initial outburst, he had tears welling up in his eyes was when I surprised him at the playground that first day, earlier than I'd told him I would see him again (supposed to have been lunchtime, just so he had something to look forward to).

And that was when he asked me, "Why (did) you take so long to drop off daddy?", before givng me a big hug. Of course I didn't let on that I'd also gone to run an errand at the post office, but I did get to join him and his new friends for the remaining part of their schoolday.

And I knew Ben was in good hands, and so was Jon!


More shots of Ben's first day, first time in school:

At the playground...


Heading back to the classroom...


Story time...


Lunch!


Getting ready to go home...


Back at home

We celebrated the first day of school with a semi-homemade cake, like I promised the boys we would bake something simple.

But all that running around to get back-to-school supplies, and shuttling back and forth to fetch the boys at different times, I was totally exhausted. In the end, I settled for a no-bake cheesecake, using dried cakemix out of a box.

Ben helps mix in the wet ingredients, and Jon helps enjoy the cake afterwards...



Needless to say, I'm back to packing lunchboxes, but trying not to complicate things by not having too many variations or different meals to cook! Just always, thinking simple!


Of Milestones, Transitions, and Phases
You can always tell from how much the other kids have shot up, (but somehow because we see our own children everyday, we don't notice it as much in them), that they've all grown over the three months of summer.


Ben is more talkative now, and is able to pick up new words and use them correctly. He's also having fun with past particples, adding -"ed" to just about every word, e.g. "walk-ked", "hurt-ted", "vanish-shed", etc. He's got the hang too, of steering the bike (Jon's previously) with training wheels, when it wasn't too long ago that Ben had graduated to it from his tricycle.

For Jon, it was pretty much overnight that he was able to ride his bike without training wheels. And just the other day, he lost his third tooth. However, he's not that comfortable reading chapter books by himself yet, but we are picking up the Magic Tree House adventures again from where we'd left off at the beginning of summer, before he got sidetracked by adventures of the Playmobil kind.

His reading and writing were what needed knuckling down, and we have to continue to encourage him to read and write more, never mind that he had done well for his SAT exams at the end of last schoolyear. The exam results weren't a direct correlation of his reading and writing abilities. And I try not to think how very far ahead his classmates are in these areas, but we mustn't stop trying to help Jon be on track.


More so than ever, it's become apparent too, that Jon has to learn to sit down to homework by himself, the same way Ben has to learn to play by himself.

For this is the ultimate solution (and especially in the absence of helpful grandparents and/or maids), to the same challenge I faced last year and all throughout summer -- how do I coach Jon and at the same time keep Ben engaged, so Jon is not distracted and Ben is not being a distraction?

Right now still, when I leave Ben alone with some Lego blocks, a puzzle, or a colouring book, he would come look for me in 5 minutes. I leave Jon alone with his reading and writing for the same amount of time, and his mind wanders. Even when I sit Ben on my lap instead, and give him something easy to do, like thread beads or pasta through a pipe-cleaner, Jon wants to do that instead, and not his work!

On top of goals like this, and trying to settle Jon and Ben into a better routine soon that includes an earlier bedtime, the two boys are also constantly growing and going through phases. And the phases in themselves, in my opinion, are what makes parenthood such a daily adventure!

Ben -- learning to be independent, though not quite there and we do still have to keep an eye on him because he's not completely aware of all the potential dangers. And Jon -- yearning to be totally independent, and more and more, does not like to be told to do this and that.

Tantrums from both have not ceased, of course, and first-time obedience definitely doesn't come easy either. And not that their fighting -- Jon likes to contradict Ben, but Ben can't take it when Jon says Ben is lesser or smaller than Jon -- wasn't unnerving before, but my own patience is waning. So there is a lot of testing of limits and pushing of buttons that I don't take so well anymore, and it's not nice, not at all, that when the boys scream, I'm screaming along or back at them, too.

You may have guessed from how infrequent I'm blogging, and I really should go to bed now, that I'm also adjusting to all these changes to our schedules and to the boys' changing needs.

No, it's never easy trying to do this and that, and juggle it all. The additional driving now is sapping, and there's other stuff going on in a stay-at-home mom's world, like meals to cook, laundry to do, and the house to clean, and I'm also our purchasing officer.

And because there's just this much I can manage in any day, and in any pocket of time (and you know, pockets of time are better than none, though not always easy to work with to get a whole lot done), I still leave the library and some marketing to do together with Ben on his days off school. He's been my faithful companion, and I do miss having him around during those hours that he's away from me now!

Above all else, there is so much I have to learn about setting "limits" and "controls", and not just about providing a "structure" (in the form of routines, for example), to "raise rambunctious little boys to be well-adjusted men" -- as a old book on Mothers and Sons from our church library, recommends.

As a parent, or growing up, what works for you, or not?