Staging

Room by room, we go back to basics --before all the clutter and more clutter took over.

Except it's far from calm and orderly as I am relating it now. We scrambled to put the house together because of competition down the street!

Vern and I worked hard and got little sleep. All the other stuff we have not decluttered, we dumped into boxes first and put out of sight, not out of mind. Super pooped already.

Important thing is, the place looks good (it has to). Now we wait, wait for someone else to think so, too.

Starting to sink in

In a couple of months, St Louis would have been our home for five years. And our little boy Ben who was just a 2.5-month-old baby when we came here, is the first to miss this place already.

It happened over dinner, when Vern had to let him and Jon know we would have to give Josh and Mr C up for adoption. Josh and Mr C are our two hermit crabs I took the boys to the pet shop to buy last summer. Never mind Jon and Ben admitted that they hardly took care of them. That was when the crying started, and Ben bawled his eyes out.

But it wasn't just about the little critters.

"I will miss my friends...

"I will miss my school...

"Can we bring our house, too?"

Every tear, every word struck a chord in me. I went to hold Ben, hold him close; Ben who is the feeling one, our warm little guy who'd come up and squeeze you tight even if he'd just met you.

Change is not easy, and I'm not a change person myself. And as I went and laid my head on the pillow last night, it's beginning to sink in for me also. Then, this morning, when I opened my mailbox, my heart sank, reading a reply from an old buddy back home that I have just shared this latest news of the family and me preparing to move to WA.

There are good reasons for heading back to Singapore. But with no job, and the current job freeze at the place there with the best fit for Vern, a lot of it is also about timing and opportunities. Being there at the right place, at the right time, among other things to consider.

I blogged about the stressful job search awhile back, and for how buried I am in everyday stuff, did not go into the nitty gritty and did what I could to be the supportive wife. Also because for how bad the economy is, it's a tough environment out there still, there was the very scary and real possibility of not having any outcome at the end of the rigorous process.

We prayed, and so thankful for people who prayed for us, and we waited. And the doors opened.

Isn't life full of the choices we make? The decisions to a large extent are what form our lives. And I'm here today, doing what I do now as an at-home mom and housewife, not the working mother I used to be back home, because of a choice I made. And I give it my best, there are the challenges, and the good Lord takes cares of the rest.

So it will be with moving on, and we will do our best to make it work, for us and for our children. But don't think I am not sad, too, and I know my father is especially so, that we will still be halfway across the globe from him and other loved ones and dear friends such as you.

This is what I wrote back to my pal, and I write it here also because great friendships are so hard to come by:

Please do not stop being in touch with me. I cherish our friendship, and yours being here for me. I know it's going to be hard, but I look forward to being able to meet up again when either of us can visit each other soon.

In the meantime, we still have much to do, much to prepare for what lies ahead.

Back-to-back seasons

One moment we say hi to Spring, and the next, winter inches its way back...

... with a little snow, like a reminder that we are not done with one season to start on another.

Kait goes look out the window, early Sunday morning a week ago now...

and this is what we see!


And here I am, stopping to gaze, because I need to, because I'm overwhelmed by all the many things going on in this SUPER CRAZY BUSY last quarter for us.

Not just because the boys like to pick battles, besides the jedi kind, with one another, and with Vern and me; obedience is hard. There are the acts of mischief and outright defiance, and many routine things remain works in progress.

Not just because the baby girl at 7.5 months old a week ago started to cruise early. And then, today, much to the proud daddy's delight, she did the "Look, Pa, no hands" first, before the "Look, Ma", and stood there for a bit without having to hold on to furniture or anyone. I don't know when she will go from cruising to walking all by herself, but I know it gets busier and busier!

And now, we are especially ON OUR TOES because...

We will be relocating to the state of Washington in summer! Praise God, we're very thankful for this open door, and I can blog about it because it's official! Before that, the stress over the rigorous job talks and interviews, coupled with the major decisions to make, was much more than what a bowl of cheng teng, or doing the bunny hop, could calm. Or staying up to iron clothes and keep the husband company to burn the midnight oil; ironing can be a little therapeutic.

But the challenges are not over, Vern has to be finished with his studies here first, with the last and biggest hurdle of hurdles to cross (*STRESS*). And this, amidst preparations we have begun for the new chapter, the new season. We are excited but also really exhausted from how much there is to juggle on top of everything else every day. There is a lot of tension and THE. STRESS. IS. MOUNTING.

Right now, we are taking apart the house before we can put it back together to put on the market. However, for how very lived in we are, the major decluttering before the actual staging, before we can pack up and move, is even MORE monumental a task than the big move here. And Vern has been working very hard for days in a row, taking time out from his studies to go intensive on Operation 'Get Organized', for that's the only way.

Doing what I can as well with the many things in my department to sieve out, throw, donate, or box up and put away already. But there are also my motherly and housewifey duties, and we split the driving so it does not drive me crazy. And I do wear Kait in the sling or carrier to try and multitask, because her separation anxiety is bad and the playpen does not work for her or me.

There's lots more house stuff to conquer, and in addition, some repairs and other things to touch up. Most days, the real work can begin only after the children fall asleep, and we grab whatever winks' left every night. And having Kait sleep next to me remains my "antidote" for the very interrupted sleep, as was the case with Jon and Ben last time. After three babies, I'm none the wiser about crying it out and concluded I just cannot do it, even though I started reading yet another book advocating it awhile ago. The author did recognize that unrestricted nursing is OK in the family bed. Still, how not to be zonked?!

*INHALE* *EXHALE*

Meanwhile, looking forward to more spring blooms to take in at our doorstep and on the drive between home and school...

It's not uncommon to have snow this time of year. But you can tell it's spring from the grass growing back, and more plants coming up.

For a place that rarely snows, a bit more is expected this week!

I'll be in touch whenever I can. Thanks for checking in, my dear friends, and for your encouragement and prayers always. Your emotional support means a lot to me.

And not that we are "tie zuo de", please do not think so, but Vern and I just have to grit our teeth and get through this period, by God's grace. The search for where to live next is something else we're working on. I pray the timing for things will work out nicely for a smooth transition.

One season, one day a time. Every day is an opportunity to give thanks to God from whom all blessings flow. He is faithful, and in him we trust to see us through these stressful back-to-back seasons and all the changes coming up.